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An incredible exhibition featuring a beautiful collection of paintings featuring the Hutt Valley, Eastern Bays and Wellington, is now showing at Artspace Gallery on the the Petone Foreshore. The exhibition is by the amazing Eastbourne artist, Alan Collins. If you like Alan's style and you … View moreAn incredible exhibition featuring a beautiful collection of paintings featuring the Hutt Valley, Eastern Bays and Wellington, is now showing at Artspace Gallery on the the Petone Foreshore. The exhibition is by the amazing Eastbourne artist, Alan Collins. If you like Alan's style and you have a view in mind that you would like to have especially painted for you or as a gift, Alan would be delighted to talk to you. Even though Alan is nearly 92, he has as much get up and go as someone half his age and would love the opportunity to do a painting especially for you.
We're open between 10am - 5pm daily but closed Mondays, entry is free with free and easy parking right outside.
Many marital therapists tell couples to expect less. If you lower your expectations, the argument goes, then you won’t be disappointed by your partner.
This advice is wrong. Donald Baucom, psychology professor at the University of North Carolina, studied marital expectations for a decade. He … View moreMany marital therapists tell couples to expect less. If you lower your expectations, the argument goes, then you won’t be disappointed by your partner.
This advice is wrong. Donald Baucom, psychology professor at the University of North Carolina, studied marital expectations for a decade. He found that people get what they expect. People with low expectations tend to be in relationships where they are treated poorly, and people with high expectations tend to be in relationships where they are treated well.
This suggests that by having high standards, you are far more likely to achieve the kind of relationship you want than you are by looking the other way and letting things slide.
The “Good Enough” Relationship
I encourage couples to strive for the “good enough” relationship, which sounds like settling for less than best. Isn’t that contrary to Baucom’s research findings on marital expectations?
Allow me to explain.
In a good enough relationship, people have high expectations for how they’re treated. They expect to be treated with kindness, love, affection, and respect. They do not tolerate emotional or physical abuse. They expect their partner to be loyal.
This does not mean they expect their relationship to be free of conflict. Even happily married couples argue. Conflict is healthy because it leads to greater understanding.
People should not expect to solve all of the problems in their relationship, either. My Love Lab studies found that almost ⅔ of relationship conflict is perpetual. As Dr. Dan Wile says, “When choosing a long-term partner… you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unsolvable problems.”
Further, it’s unrealistic to expect a relationship to heal childhood wounds, or to become a pathway to spiritual enlightenment or self-actualization. Eli Finkel, psychology professor at Northwestern University, encourages couples to “recalibrate” their marital expectations for these existential needs.
So don’t settle for being treated poorly. As a father, the best way to buffer my daughter from being in a bad relationship in the future is to treat her with love and respect, so she will expect to be treated the same way her partner.
In our empirically-based theory, the Sound Relationship House, we describe what couples in the good enough relationship do and have. They are good friends. They have a satisfying sex life. They trust one another, and are fully committed to one another. They can manage conflict constructively. That means they can arrive at mutual understanding and get to compromises that work. And they can repair effectively when they hurt one another.
They honor one another’s dreams, even if they’re different. They create a shared meaning system with shared values and ethics, beliefs, rituals, and goals.
They agree about fundamental symbols like what a home is, what love is, and how to raise their children.
Expect that.
You deserve it. It’s not unreasonable, and it’s achievable.
This month we're giving away a car. Not just any car, but a brand new Suzuki Vitara worth $30,690 to one lucky member. To make sure you're in the draw just click the button below - it's that easy. Good luck! Winner
T&Cs apply.
You now have only a few days to let Council know your views on whether wards should retained, how many Councillors should be on Council and what you think about community boards or panels.
Submissions on Council’s draft proposal on representation close on 3 September, 2018, no later than 5pm.
… View moreYou now have only a few days to let Council know your views on whether wards should retained, how many Councillors should be on Council and what you think about community boards or panels.
Submissions on Council’s draft proposal on representation close on 3 September, 2018, no later than 5pm.
For more information, go to the link below.
From MetService: A low is deepening east of New Zealand during today (Friday), bringing rain to the lower North Island. The heaviest falls are expected over Wellington and Wairarapa south of Featherston. Southwest gales may affect eastern areas from Wairarapa to Marlborough, and this Watch includes… View moreFrom MetService: A low is deepening east of New Zealand during today (Friday), bringing rain to the lower North Island. The heaviest falls are expected over Wellington and Wairarapa south of Featherston. Southwest gales may affect eastern areas from Wairarapa to Marlborough, and this Watch includes the possibility of these gales becoming severe in Wellington, southern Wairarapa and the Kaikoura Coast.
People are advised to keep up to date with the latest forecasts in case other areas are added to the watch, or if this is updated to a warning.
Heavy Rain Watch
Area: Wellington, and Wairarapa south of Featherston
Valid: 11 hours from 8:00am to 7:00pm Friday
Forecast: A period of heavy rain, chiefly about Wairarapa south of Featherston, and the eastern hills of Wellington.
Strong Wind Watch
Area: Wellington, Wairarapa south of Featherston, and the Kaikoura Coast
Valid: 11 hours from 10:00am to 9:00pm Friday
Forecast: Southwesterlies may approach severe gale in exposed places.
We are your local accounting team. We are always here for advice and we aim to keep you up to date.
The Hutt Valley-Wellington Whaitua Committee will be made up of people who know the area and care about finding lasting solutions to our water problems. Be part of the vision to change for our current and future generations. Come and join us. Last date for applications: 4 September 2018.
To know… View moreThe Hutt Valley-Wellington Whaitua Committee will be made up of people who know the area and care about finding lasting solutions to our water problems. Be part of the vision to change for our current and future generations. Come and join us. Last date for applications: 4 September 2018.
To know more or for applying online, visit:
www.gw.govt.nz... If you have questions, email us at whaitua@gw.govt.nz
PF Olsen are moving through the 48ha of commercial pine to be felled. Tunnel Drive (from Maymorn Gate through the forest to the tunnel) is open on weekends only at this stage. For safety reasons this is the only public access while works continue. It will be open after 5pm on weekdays from 1 … View morePF Olsen are moving through the 48ha of commercial pine to be felled. Tunnel Drive (from Maymorn Gate through the forest to the tunnel) is open on weekends only at this stage. For safety reasons this is the only public access while works continue. It will be open after 5pm on weekdays from 1 October. Please follow all signage to keep safe!
Are you or someone you know aged 16-18 years old on 19 October 2018? Do you live in the Hutt South electorate? Are you active in your community and passionate about youth issues, politics or social change?
Youth Parliament is coming up in 2019. Apply to be my representative with a 2-minute video… View moreAre you or someone you know aged 16-18 years old on 19 October 2018? Do you live in the Hutt South electorate? Are you active in your community and passionate about youth issues, politics or social change?
Youth Parliament is coming up in 2019. Apply to be my representative with a 2-minute video or 1-page letter with the following:
- Why you should represent the youth of Hutt South
- How you would make Hutt South a better place
- How you would make New Zealand a better place
Send your entry with home address, email address, phone number and name of your high school or university by 5pm 23 September 2018 to youthmp4ginny@gmail.com
I’ll pick 5 entries to do a 5-minute speech in my Petone Office on 8 October 2018 and from these I’ll pick my Youth MP representative.
Need more info? Email YouthMP4Ginny@gmail.com
Authorised by Ginny Andersen, Parliament Buildings, Wellington
Hi Neighbours!
To celebrate father's day we are giving away a Yale Assure Lock on our Exceed Facebook Page. To enter the competition go to: www.facebook.com...
Good Luck!
It's time to refresh your riding skills now for the busy and fun months to come.
Book yourself on one of the many Ride Forever courses in your region, with classes adapted to your riding level.
Join others, like Cassandra, who gained extra skills to be more confident on our roads thanks… View moreIt's time to refresh your riding skills now for the busy and fun months to come.
Book yourself on one of the many Ride Forever courses in your region, with classes adapted to your riding level.
Join others, like Cassandra, who gained extra skills to be more confident on our roads thanks to Ride Forever coaching. As riders, it’s important we take the time to ensure we have the right skills to avoid crashes, so sign-up for Ride Forever coaching today - it may just save your life.
What do you call six women stranded on a mountain in the rain: ridiculous! Or you could call them social climbers … but just not to their faces! Once at the hut, not only do they unload their packs full of food, wine, and a souvenir rock; their hang-ups get unloaded as well.
Torrential rain … View moreWhat do you call six women stranded on a mountain in the rain: ridiculous! Or you could call them social climbers … but just not to their faces! Once at the hut, not only do they unload their packs full of food, wine, and a souvenir rock; their hang-ups get unloaded as well.
Torrential rain and a flooded bridge keep them stranded for three days. What they get up to, to help pass the time, raises a few eyebrows and will have you laughing, tearing up and applauding enthusiastically as they bare all.
Of course, it’s not just souls that are exposed, there’s a little nudity, a cracking thunderstorm, explosions, screaming bloody murder, ghostly stories, a birthday celebration, a séance, a drunken party, confessions, meltdowns and revelations that will keep you and your friends entertained throughout.
Perfectly timed for your own social group’s ascent into summer, don’t miss this hilarious play when it comes to a town near you in November.
Buy tickets for Paraparaumu.
Buy tickets for Wellington City.
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