947 days ago

Wednesday's funny: 😄🏪Kmart Interview🏪 😄

Fiona from Henderson

Jennifer, a manager at Kmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening.

After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified.
Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

The first man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning."

"That's very good!" replied Jennifer. "And now you sir," she asked the second man.

"Hmmm... let me see... A BLINK! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

“Excellent!" said Jennifer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed." She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out at my dad's farm, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man. “It's hard to beat the speed of light," she said.

Turning to Ernest, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question.

Old Ernest replied, "After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT?" said Jennifer, stunned by the response.

"Oh sure," said Ernest. "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already popped my pants."

Ernest is the new greeter at the Kmart near you!

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More messages from your neighbours
4 days ago

Poll: Does the building consent process need to change?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

We definitely need homes that are fit to live in but there are often frustrations when it comes to getting consent to modify your own home.
Do you think changes need made to the current process for building consent? Share your thoughts below.

Type 'Not For Print' if you wish your comments to be excluded from the Conversations column of your local paper.

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Does the building consent process need to change?
  • 91.6% Yes
    91.6% Complete
  • 8% No
    8% Complete
  • 0.4% Other - I'll share below!
    0.4% Complete
1258 votes
1 day ago

Lest we forget...

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

On this ANZAC Day, let's take a moment to remember and honor the brave men and women who have served and continue to serve our country.

Tell us who are you honouring today. Whether it's a story from the battlefield or a memory of a family member who fought in the war, we'd love you to share your stories below.

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4 hours ago

Old oil

Amy-Grace from New Lynn

Hi everyone hope everyone is well , I'm just wondering if anyone knows how I can discard some old oil from our car in which we over filled. Was in the car over a few weeks and now have in a bucket. But want to get rid of correctly. We are based in kelston