1646 days ago

Wednesday's funny: 😄🏪Kmart Interview🏪 😄

Fiona from Henderson

Jennifer, a manager at Kmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening.

After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified.
Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

The first man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning."

"That's very good!" replied Jennifer. "And now you sir," she asked the second man.

"Hmmm... let me see... A BLINK! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

“Excellent!" said Jennifer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed." She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out at my dad's farm, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man. “It's hard to beat the speed of light," she said.

Turning to Ernest, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question.

Old Ernest replied, "After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT?" said Jennifer, stunned by the response.

"Oh sure," said Ernest. "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already popped my pants."

Ernest is the new greeter at the Kmart near you!

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More messages from your neighbours
1 day ago

Poll: Should we ditch daylight saving? 🕰️

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

First introduced in New Zealand in 1927 with the passing of the Summer Time Act, it's what we know as 'Daylight Saving' and this year it ends on the first Sunday in April.

While we do get to sleep in this time around, some people would like to scrap the clock tinkering for good.

And why? Some evidence suggests the time changes are bad for our health as they mess with sleep patterns leading to short-term fatigue and affecting mood. Meanwhile the hour change is frustrating for farmers and a nightmare for getting the littlies to sleep. But what's your take?

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Should we ditch daylight saving? 🕰️
  • 40.3% Yes - get rid of the clock changes
    40.3% Complete
  • 57.8% No, I enjoy it
    57.8% Complete
  • 1.9% Other - I'll share below
    1.9% Complete
1109 votes
3 days ago

Sunday Market at St Johns – Come Say Hi!

Sj Markets

Hi Neighbours !!!!
If you’re looking for an easy, feel-good way to start your Sunday, pop down to the St Johns Market it’s on every week and always worth a visit

Expect plenty to enjoy:
Delicious Food and Drink
Seasonal fruit & veg from local growers
Handmade goodies & crafts
Clothes, toys

It’s a laid-back, welcoming spot to catch up with neighbours, support local, and soak up the community vibe.

Stay connected & get updates:
Facebook
info.sjmarket@gmail.com
0274 671 446

Bring the kids, bring the dog, or just bring yourself and make a morning of it hope to see you there!
7 Allison Ferguson Drive, Auckland Netball Courts
Find out more

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8 days ago

Poll: Are you still heading to your local for your caffeine fix, or has the $$ changed your habits? ☕

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

Auckland has a thriving cafe culture, but with costs climbing, that culture is under pressure. We’ve seen the headlines about recent closures across the country, and it’s a tough pill to swallow along with a $6+ coffee.

We all want our favourite spots to stay open, but we also have to balance our own budgets ⚖️

We want to know: How are you handling the "coffee math" in 2026? Are you still heading to your local for a chat and a caffeine fix, or has the cost of living changed your habits?

Keen to read more about "coffee math"? The Post has you covered.

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Are you still heading to your local for your caffeine fix, or has the $$ changed your habits? ☕
  • 42.7% I avoid spending money on coffee
    42.7% Complete
  • 41.4% I still indulge at my local cafe
    41.4% Complete
  • 15.9% Irrelevant - coffee is not for me
    15.9% Complete
377 votes