Wednesday's funny: 😄🏪Kmart Interview🏪 😄
Jennifer, a manager at Kmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening.
After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified.
Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
The first man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning."
"That's very good!" replied Jennifer. "And now you sir," she asked the second man.
"Hmmm... let me see... A BLINK! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."
“Excellent!" said Jennifer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed." She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's farm, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man. “It's hard to beat the speed of light," she said.
Turning to Ernest, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question.
Old Ernest replied, "After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."
"WHAT?" said Jennifer, stunned by the response.
"Oh sure," said Ernest. "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already popped my pants."
Ernest is the new greeter at the Kmart near you!
What's your favourite recipe for courgettes?
Kia ora neighbours. If you've got a family recipe for courgettes, we'd love to see it and maybe publish it in our magazine. Send your recipe to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, and if we use it in the mag, you will receive a free copy of our January 2025 issue.
Poll: Do you think NZ should ban social media for youth?
The Australian Prime Minister has expressed plans to ban social media use for children.
This would make it illegal for under 16-year-olds to have accounts on platforms including TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and X.
Social media platforms would be tasked with ensuring children have no access (under-age children and their parents wouldn’t be penalised for breaching the age limit)
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Do you think NZ should follow suit? Vote in our poll and share your thoughts below.
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84.6% Yes
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13.9% No
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1.5% Other - I'll share below
Harbour Bridge lane closure - protests
The Treaty Principles Bill was introduced to parliament last week and could have ramifications on the partnership between the Crown and Māori.
Hīkoi mō te Tiriti (March for the Treaty of Waitangi) set off from Cape Rēinga on Monday morning and is expected to reach Wellington next Tuesday. It has now passed through Kaitaia, Kawakawa, Whangārei, Dargaville and is passing through Auckland on Wednesday.
What you need to know today:
- The hīkoi is due to cross the Auckland Harbour Bridge about 9.30am on Wednesday. Two northbound lanes will be closed at some point before the crossing, and remain closed during it.
- NZTA shared at 8:50am Wednesday:
'Curran St northbound on-ramp will be closed shortly, with two northbound lanes on the Harbour Bridge expected to close from approx 9.30am this morning. Allow extra time for likely delays through this area.'
- The hīkoi is expected to go across the Harbour Bridge, in a controlled fashion before marching through parts of the CBD towards Okahu Bay.
- Auckland commuters should expect traffic disruption in vicinity of both sides of the Harbour Bridge.
Stuff reporter Steve Kilgallon was at Stafford Park on the north side of the Harbour Bridge at 8.30am Wednesday and shared:
"I just walked through Stafford Park, where there’s about 400-500 people quietly assembled and more arriving; and about 20 police standing over near the motorway off ramp. Lot of Tino Rangatira flags in evidence, local streets very busy with parked cars."
Police have shared that they will respond accordingly to any issues that may arise along the route.
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