Saturday's Funny: 😉🤢Do you fart in bed?🤢😉
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke, the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was.
He said, “Honey you were right, all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.
“What do you mean?” asked his wife.
“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…..”
😄🤣😄🤣😄
Q&A: Animal Welfare with SPCA's Dr Corey Regnerus-Kell
We're back with a Neighbourly Q&A session. This time with Dr Corey Regnerus-Kell who is a qualified veterinarian and SPCA’s General Manager Animal Services.
A little bit about Corey:
Corey has an interest in veterinary medicine, animal welfare, and biosecurity. He shares his home with ostriches, guinea pigs, bees, a rescue tortoiseshell named Lynk, a ragdoll named Oscar, two mini foxies called Chester and Maya and a black Labrador named Bonnie.
Dr Corey Regnerus-Kell is excited to answer your questions on all things animal welfare, whether it's how to best look after your new pet, how to combat separation anxiety or how to report neglect. ↓ Share your questions below and he will answer them on Wednesday 31st July ↓
Poll: Should you ask before planting tall shrubs/trees near your property line?
It may be fine now but in a few years trees can block out light or views for neighbours.
Do you think neighbours should ask before they go ahead and plant these?
-
69.5% Yes, always ask
-
29.6% No
-
1% Other - I'll share below!
Ak interiors "Officially Premium"
Kiaora Waitakere families
My name is Keiren and I am the proud owner of AK Interiors. I am posting this message to let everyone we are offering our services through the Neighbourly services for the first time! I have lived in the Greenbay area for 15 years now and I want to share what we have to offer as well as supporting the local schools and businesses that I frequent to in the area as my son attends GBHS and has played his junior rugby at Suburbs and is a local celebrity (so he says)
Through 12 years of operating we have completed projects across the city and as far North as Kaikohe and as far south as Hastings.We specialise in Commercial interiors, Residential interior renovations, Construction, Fencing and Decking. If you or anyone you know need some building projects done, rotting windows repaired, leaky roofs or anything around the home or office for that matter give us a buzz. We are happy to help design, quote, procure and complete your building project. Other sub services we can provide range from Plastering, Painting, Roofing, Plumbing and Electrical.
All services completed by Qualified trade professionals and our work is 100% GUARANTEED
Nga Mihi
Keiren Hetherington
021726444
Loading…
