Saturday's Funny: 😉🤢Do you fart in bed?🤢😉
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke, the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was.
He said, “Honey you were right, all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.
“What do you mean?” asked his wife.
“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…..”
😄🤣😄🤣😄
What's your favourite recipe for courgettes?
Kia ora neighbours. If you've got a family recipe for courgettes, we'd love to see it and maybe publish it in our magazine. Send your recipe to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, and if we use it in the mag, you will receive a free copy of our January 2025 issue.
Poll: Do you think NZ should ban social media for youth?
The Australian Prime Minister has expressed plans to ban social media use for children.
This would make it illegal for under 16-year-olds to have accounts on platforms including TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and X.
Social media platforms would be tasked with ensuring children have no access (under-age children and their parents wouldn’t be penalised for breaching the age limit)
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Do you think NZ should follow suit? Vote in our poll and share your thoughts below.
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84.6% Yes
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13.9% No
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1.5% Other - I'll share below
Harbour Bridge lane closure - protests
The Treaty Principles Bill was introduced to parliament last week and could have ramifications on the partnership between the Crown and Māori.
Hīkoi mō te Tiriti (March for the Treaty of Waitangi) set off from Cape Rēinga on Monday morning and is expected to reach Wellington next Tuesday. It has now passed through Kaitaia, Kawakawa, Whangārei, Dargaville and is passing through Auckland on Wednesday.
What you need to know today:
- The hīkoi is due to cross the Auckland Harbour Bridge about 9.30am on Wednesday. Two northbound lanes will be closed at some point before the crossing, and remain closed during it.
- NZTA shared at 8:50am Wednesday:
'Curran St northbound on-ramp will be closed shortly, with two northbound lanes on the Harbour Bridge expected to close from approx 9.30am this morning. Allow extra time for likely delays through this area.'
- The hīkoi is expected to go across the Harbour Bridge, in a controlled fashion before marching through parts of the CBD towards Okahu Bay.
- Auckland commuters should expect traffic disruption in vicinity of both sides of the Harbour Bridge.
Stuff reporter Steve Kilgallon was at Stafford Park on the north side of the Harbour Bridge at 8.30am Wednesday and shared:
"I just walked through Stafford Park, where there’s about 400-500 people quietly assembled and more arriving; and about 20 police standing over near the motorway off ramp. Lot of Tino Rangatira flags in evidence, local streets very busy with parked cars."
Police have shared that they will respond accordingly to any issues that may arise along the route.
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