941 days ago

Wednesday's funny: 😄🏪Kmart Interview🏪 😄

Fiona from Henderson

Jennifer, a manager at Kmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening.

After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified.
Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

The first man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning."

"That's very good!" replied Jennifer. "And now you sir," she asked the second man.

"Hmmm... let me see... A BLINK! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

“Excellent!" said Jennifer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed." She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out at my dad's farm, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man. “It's hard to beat the speed of light," she said.

Turning to Ernest, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question.

Old Ernest replied, "After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT?" said Jennifer, stunned by the response.

"Oh sure," said Ernest. "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already popped my pants."

Ernest is the new greeter at the Kmart near you!

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15 hours ago

Get painting with Resene plant-based paints!

Resene

Plant-based paints are made just like normal paint but everything in the tin comes from plants and minerals.

Plus they’re Eco Choice approved with low odour and easy water clean-up, so you can paint or stain your place with ease.

Available from Resene ColorShops.
Find out more

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1 day ago

Commemorate Anzac Day on 25 April

Auckland Council

Remember our servicemen and servicewomen past and present by attending an Anzac Day service on Thursday 25 April.

Visit for a full list of services across the region.
Find out more

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1 day ago

School Holidays Approaching!

Novotel Ellerslie

Looking for the a family getaway these upcoming holidays? Look no further than the Novotel Auckland Ellerslie.

Located in a fantastic location in Auckland, Novotel Ellerslie offers everything you need for a great family vacation/staycation. From spacious and comfortable accommodations to fantastic amenities, you can count on it being a memorable experience for everyone.

With so much to explore in Auckland, you can dive into all the adventures awaiting you. Whether it's exploring the vibrant city, enjoying delicious local cuisine, or simply relaxing in the hotel there's something for everyone to enjoy.

Plus, with Novotel's commitment to safety and cleanliness, you can relax and enjoy your holiday with peace of mind.

So pack your bags and join us for an incredible family holiday at Novotel Auckland Ellerslie!
Book your stay now

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