1549 days ago

Wednesday's funny: 😄🏪Kmart Interview🏪 😄

Fiona from Henderson

Jennifer, a manager at Kmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening.

After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified.
Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

The first man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning."

"That's very good!" replied Jennifer. "And now you sir," she asked the second man.

"Hmmm... let me see... A BLINK! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

“Excellent!" said Jennifer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed." She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out at my dad's farm, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man. “It's hard to beat the speed of light," she said.

Turning to Ernest, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question.

Old Ernest replied, "After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT?" said Jennifer, stunned by the response.

"Oh sure," said Ernest. "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already popped my pants."

Ernest is the new greeter at the Kmart near you!

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More messages from your neighbours
1 day ago

Poll: 🗑️ Would you be keen to switch to a fortnightly rubbish collection, or do you prefer things as they are?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

Aucklanders, our weekly rubbish collections are staying after councillors voted to scrap a proposed trial of fortnightly pick-ups.

We want to hear from you: would you be keen to switch to a fortnightly rubbish collection, or do you prefer things as they are?

Keen for the details? Read up about the scrapped collection trial here.

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🗑️ Would you be keen to switch to a fortnightly rubbish collection, or do you prefer things as they are?
  • 82.4% Same!
    82.4% Complete
  • 17.6% Would have liked to try something different
    17.6% Complete
148 votes
26 days ago

Some Choice News!

Kia pai from Sharing the Good Stuff

Many New Zealand gardens aren’t seeing as many monarch butterflies fluttering around their swan plants and flower beds these days — the hungry Asian paper wasp has been taking its toll.

Thanks to people like Alan Baldick, who’s made it his mission to protect the monarch, his neighbours still get to enjoy these beautiful butterflies in their own backyards.

Thinking about planting something to invite more butterflies, bees, and birds into your garden?

Thanks for your mahi, Alan! We hope this brings a smile!

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4 days ago

Scam Alert: Fake information regarding December Bonuses from MSD

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

The Ministry of Social Development is reporting that fake information is circulating about new ‘December bonuses’ or ‘benefit increases’

If you get suspicious communication, please contact Netsafe.

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