Come support the Phoenix THIS SATURDAY!
Hi Auckland! It’s the @Wellington Phoenix team here! We are coming to Auckland This Saturday to play Sydney FC! We are fighting for the top of the table spot so we need your support to secure the win!
We’re asking Auckland to cheer us on to victory. Bring your friends, kids, whanau and neighbours to get your football fix! Tickets are on sale now starting from $12 for kids. You can take the whole family to the game for just $65!
We can’t wait to see you in the stands! Get your tickets now!
New Year, New Questions You Won’t Solve!
I get smaller every time I take a bath.
What am I?
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What it feels like speaking with a MAGA American:
Me: “Your total is $44.19. Cash or card?”
The customer hands me a credit card but the chip inside it has been hole-punched out.
Me: “Uh, I don’t think this will work.”
Customer: “Why not? It hasn’t expired and I have money in my account.”
Me: “Sir… the chip is gone.”
Customer: “I didn’t want the chip.”
Me: “The card won’t work without it.”
Customer: “It just means I can’t enter my PIN, but you can still swipe it.”
Me: “I don’t think it will work, sir.”
Customer: “Just swipe it.”
I swipe it to prove a point.
Me: “It’s not working, sir.”
Customer: “Then you’re doing it wrong. Swipe it again!”
I do so again with the same result.
Customer: “Maybe you should swipe it so that the magnetic strip isn’t the thing being swiped?”
Me: *Swiping it as suggested.* “Sure, why not? About as much chance of it going through without the magnetic strip as there is without the chip – oh look, it didn’t work.”
Customer: “Your machine must be broken!”