Motorway & Harbour Bridge closures
There will be varying closures and traffic restrictions this week in Auckland:
- On Monday 12 and Tuesday 13 February, there will be a full northbound closure between Symonds Street and Fanshawe Street, and northbound lane restrictions on the Auckland Harbour Bridge between 10pm and 5am.
The following ramps/links will be closed:
SH1 Grafton Road southbound on-ramp
SH16 Wellesley Street westbound on-ramp
SH16 Port to SH16 westbound link
SH1 northbound to SH16 westbound link
SH16 eastbound to SH1 northbound link
SH16 westbound to SH1 northbound link
SH1 Wellington Street northbound on-ramp
SH1 Curran Street northbound on-ramp
SH1 Stafford Road northbound off-ramp
SH1 Onewa Road northbound off-ramp
Recommended detours are:
SH1 (northbound) detour route via SH16 Port Link, Beach Road, Custom Street East and Fanshawe Street.
SH1 (southbound) detour route via SH1 Grafton Road off-ramp and follow the signposted detour via Grafton Road onto Khyber Pass southbound on-ramp.
SH16 detour route via SH16 eastbound towards Wellesley Street.
Noise: There will be increased noise levels as the team will be carrying out multiple maintenance activities such as cutting into the road, resurfacing and vegetation control.
- On Wednesday 14 and Thursday 15 February between 10pm and 5am, there will be a full northbound closure between Nelson Street and Fanshawe Street, and northbound lane restrictions on the Auckland Harbour Bridge.
The following ramps/links will be closed.
SH16 eastbound to SH1 northbound link
SH16 westbound to SH1 northbound link
SH1 Nelson Street northbound off-ramp
SH1 Wellington Street northbound on-ramp
Recommended detours:
From Ponsonby: Please use the recommended detour via Nelson Street and Fanshawe Street.
From Hobson Street: Please use the recommended detour via Franklin Road, Victoria Street West and Beaumont Street.
Noise: There will be increased noise levels as the team will be carrying out paving activities.
Please check NZTA Journey Planner for updates.
New Year, New Questions You Won’t Solve!
I get smaller every time I take a bath.
What am I?
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What it feels like speaking with a MAGA American:
Me: “Your total is $44.19. Cash or card?”
The customer hands me a credit card but the chip inside it has been hole-punched out.
Me: “Uh, I don’t think this will work.”
Customer: “Why not? It hasn’t expired and I have money in my account.”
Me: “Sir… the chip is gone.”
Customer: “I didn’t want the chip.”
Me: “The card won’t work without it.”
Customer: “It just means I can’t enter my PIN, but you can still swipe it.”
Me: “I don’t think it will work, sir.”
Customer: “Just swipe it.”
I swipe it to prove a point.
Me: “It’s not working, sir.”
Customer: “Then you’re doing it wrong. Swipe it again!”
I do so again with the same result.
Customer: “Maybe you should swipe it so that the magnetic strip isn’t the thing being swiped?”
Me: *Swiping it as suggested.* “Sure, why not? About as much chance of it going through without the magnetic strip as there is without the chip – oh look, it didn’t work.”
Customer: “Your machine must be broken!”