Doug finds family at Ryman
Not all Ryman residents can claim viral internet sensation status – but Patrick Hogan Retirement Village’s Doug Lineham sure can!
It was during the live televised name reveal for Ryman Healthcare’s new Cambridge village on TVNZ’s Breakfast that presenter Matty McClean happened upon Doug.
The resulting hilarious sequence of dry, but complimentary-to-Ryman, one-liners left the audience calling for Doug to have his own show. One fan even touted him as the next PM!
What viewers didn’t know, however, was that behind the droll exterior, Doug was dealing with the loss of his beloved wife Jan.
Click to read Doug's story.
New Year, New Questions You Won’t Solve!
I get smaller every time I take a bath.
What am I?
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What it feels like speaking with a MAGA American:
Me: “Your total is $44.19. Cash or card?”
The customer hands me a credit card but the chip inside it has been hole-punched out.
Me: “Uh, I don’t think this will work.”
Customer: “Why not? It hasn’t expired and I have money in my account.”
Me: “Sir… the chip is gone.”
Customer: “I didn’t want the chip.”
Me: “The card won’t work without it.”
Customer: “It just means I can’t enter my PIN, but you can still swipe it.”
Me: “I don’t think it will work, sir.”
Customer: “Just swipe it.”
I swipe it to prove a point.
Me: “It’s not working, sir.”
Customer: “Then you’re doing it wrong. Swipe it again!”
I do so again with the same result.
Customer: “Maybe you should swipe it so that the magnetic strip isn’t the thing being swiped?”
Me: *Swiping it as suggested.* “Sure, why not? About as much chance of it going through without the magnetic strip as there is without the chip – oh look, it didn’t work.”
Customer: “Your machine must be broken!”