Saturday's Funny: 😉🤢Do you fart in bed?🤢😉
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke, the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was.
He said, “Honey you were right, all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.
“What do you mean?” asked his wife.
“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…..”
😄🤣😄🤣😄
Poll: Do you think banning gang patches is reasonable?
With the government cracking down on gangs, it is now illegal for gang members to display their insignia in public places whether through clothing or their property.
This means arrests can be made if these patches are worn in places like restaurants, shops, on public transport or ferries, and on airplanes. Arrests were made recently at a funeral.
Do you think this ban is reasonable?
-
76.6% Yes
-
22.1% No
-
1.4% Other - I'll share below
What's your favourite recipe for courgettes?
Kia ora neighbours. If you've got a family recipe for courgettes, we'd love to see it and maybe publish it in our magazine. Send your recipe to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, and if we use it in the mag, you will receive a free copy of our January 2025 issue.
Chrstmas light show
Hi everyone.
I have put my Xmas lights up and am currently doing the final testing.
This is an animated show set to music, so drive by viewing is not the best.
There are speakers out so you will be able to hear the music that goes with the lights.
As last year, I will have my shows running from 1st of December until 31st of Dec inclusive.
As I have neighbours, Please respect them and their properties.
Show times will be,
Sunday to Thursday 9pm to 10pm.
Friday and Saturday 9pm to 10:30pm.
Last but not least the address.
28 Harrington Rd
Henderson.
Loading…
