1113 days ago

Wednesday's funny: 😄🏪Kmart Interview🏪 😄

Fiona from Henderson

Jennifer, a manager at Kmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening.

After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified.
Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

The first man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning."

"That's very good!" replied Jennifer. "And now you sir," she asked the second man.

"Hmmm... let me see... A BLINK! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

“Excellent!" said Jennifer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed." She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out at my dad's farm, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man. “It's hard to beat the speed of light," she said.

Turning to Ernest, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question.

Old Ernest replied, "After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT?" said Jennifer, stunned by the response.

"Oh sure," said Ernest. "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already popped my pants."

Ernest is the new greeter at the Kmart near you!

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More messages from your neighbours
1 day ago

Poll: Is dumping an issue in your neighbourhood?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

There's nothing worse than strolling around the streets in your neighbourhood and seeing dumped rubbish.

Have you noticed this in your area? What could we do to combat this around the country?

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Is dumping an issue in your neighbourhood?
  • 43.2% Yes, I've seen some illegal dumping
    43.2% Complete
  • 56.1% No, our neighbourhood is pretty good
    56.1% Complete
  • 0.6% Other - I'll share below
    0.6% Complete
935 votes
10 hours ago

Neighbourly challenge: Who can solve the daily riddle?

Riddler from The Neighbourly Riddler

I have a crown but am not a king.
I'm prickly on the outside but sweet within.
What am I?

Do you think you know the answer to our daily riddle? Don't spoil it for your neighbours! Simply 'Like' this post and we'll post the answer in the comments below at 2pm.

Want to stop seeing riddles in your newsfeed?
Head here and hover on the Following button on the top right of the page (and it will show Unfollow) and then click it. If it is giving you the option to Follow, then you've successfully unfollowed the Riddles page.

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12 days ago

Poll: What special qualities should a 5-star New Zealand airport hotel at our largest international airport have?

Pullman Novotel

Te Arikinui Pullman Auckland Airport is New Zealand’s only 5-star airport hotel, given its incredibly close proximity to the airport, the convenience of walking to the airport is a major highlight but there are plenty of other features that make it special. Find out more

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What special qualities should a 5-star New Zealand airport hotel at our largest international airport have?
  • 5.6% Unmatched runway views with a private lounge
    5.6% Complete
  • 45.8% Exceptional service from arrival to departure
    45.8% Complete
  • 5% Gourmet dining featuring New Zealand's finest, celebrating Te Ao Māori kai
    5% Complete
  • 36.9% A soundproof oasis with all desired amenities
    36.9% Complete
  • 6.6% Māori culture reflected throughout, creating an architectural marvel
    6.6% Complete
301 votes