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A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.
One of the bags was ripped, and every once in a while, a $20 note fell out onto the footpath.
Noticing this, a Policeman stopped her, and said “Excuse me Ma’am, there are $20 notes falling out of … View moreA little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.
One of the bags was ripped, and every once in a while, a $20 note fell out onto the footpath.
Noticing this, a Policeman stopped her, and said “Excuse me Ma’am, there are $20 notes falling out of that bag”
“Damn” says the little old lady, “I’d better go back and see if I can find them and pick them up”
“Not so fast” says the cop, “How did you get all that money? Did you steal it?”
“Oh, no” replied the little old lady, “You see, my back yard backs up to the local sports stadium and each time there is a game, a lot of fans come by come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden.
It used to really tick me off, kills the flowers you know. Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?’
So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘OK buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.’
“Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK, Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”
"Well, you know", said the little old lady, "not everybody pays."
A man was stopped by a fishery officer recently with two chilly bins full of live fish in water, leaving a river well known for its fishing.
The fishery officer asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Nah, my friend, I ain't got no license. These here are … View moreA man was stopped by a fishery officer recently with two chilly bins full of live fish in water, leaving a river well known for its fishing.
The fishery officer asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Nah, my friend, I ain't got no license. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the river and let 'em swim round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into this chilly in and I take 'em home."
"That's a bunch of rubbish! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the fishery officer for a moment and then said, "It's the truth. I'll show you. It really works."
"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"
The man poured the fish into the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the fishery officer turned to him and said, "Well?"
"Well, what?" said the man.
"When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH!"
"What fish?"
A daffodil in my back garden (flopped over, of course, which is why I had to hold it pointing in the right direction with my hand, to photograph it), and some onionweed on my front lawn, photos taken JUST as the sun was going down!!!!!!!! 😃 How about THAT!!!!!!!! 😃
To do our part, here's two phrases we believe everyone should know in Te Reo Māori.
Hi neighbours,
What’s your local Covid-19 testing centre, and has it been busy or empty lately?
Please vote and comment!
"An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a … View more"An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean.....
all go to a bar......
The doorman stops them and says “Sorry I can’t let you in without a Thai."
P.S. How many of you checked the list? 😂🤣😂🤣😂
Kia ora neighbours,
Kāinga Ora has admitted it let one of its tenants down after she was forced to live in a car with her young son due to black mould in her home.
The tenant, who has name suppression, took the housing provider to the Tenancy Tribunal, claiming the house she lived in caused … View moreKia ora neighbours,
Kāinga Ora has admitted it let one of its tenants down after she was forced to live in a car with her young son due to black mould in her home.
The tenant, who has name suppression, took the housing provider to the Tenancy Tribunal, claiming the house she lived in caused both her and her son to become sick.
She said she had no health issues before moving into the house on Harry Ward Place in West Auckland’s Henderson.
During the tenancy, she developed a runny nose, itchy eyes, cough, rash on her arms and legs, impetigo, skin infections and likely upper respiratory infections.
The tenant said her son, who was 3 at the time, was also hospitalised for a respiratory infection.
Click 'read more' for the full story.
I was wondering if anyone new if the new paknsave in alderman drive which is not opened yet is allowed to have painters painting outside of building and tradesmen working on the inside working very late have they been give dispensation to get the supermarket open or what
Welcome 2 the West Auckland LinUX eNthusiasts Network & Share a Toast Virtually @ whereby.com/a1.computeko in your Web browser, No install req'd... Because of the ToyMota Corona Virus Lockdown! yoU'Re All Welcome 2 Join Us from Any Available Operating System including MacOS, Android, … View moreWelcome 2 the West Auckland LinUX eNthusiasts Network & Share a Toast Virtually @ whereby.com/a1.computeko in your Web browser, No install req'd... Because of the ToyMota Corona Virus Lockdown! yoU'Re All Welcome 2 Join Us from Any Available Operating System including MacOS, Android, Linux or M$ Virus Magnet WinDoze, However Unfortunately the Hui will be Ltd to 45 minutes. Otherwize We'll Next Convene in the Flesh @ the Henderson RSA 1st Floor ( Above the Baa ) on the 21st of ROcktober @ 6 PM ( ToyMota Corona Virus Lockdown Permitting ) Always the 3rd Thirstday of the Month... Hope 2 C yoU there & Do Avoid that Evil Bill Gates ToyMota Virus!!! ;-)K
West Auckland LinUX eNthusiasts Network T__' Shirt Layout.pdf Download View
Sweet and sour pork is a Chinese inspired dish made with juicy pieces of pork tenderloin, bell peppers, onion and pineapple.
This dish is particularly popular in westernised Cantonese cuisine and may be found all over the world. Here is a photo of Sweet and sour pork prepared by our Advanced … View moreSweet and sour pork is a Chinese inspired dish made with juicy pieces of pork tenderloin, bell peppers, onion and pineapple.
This dish is particularly popular in westernised Cantonese cuisine and may be found all over the world. Here is a photo of Sweet and sour pork prepared by our Advanced cookery student Reesha from home during Lockdown 2021.
Find recipe on our blog, link below.
West Auckland Pick Up & Delivery Only.
Firewood is a Level 4 Essential Utility Service, being a solid fuel.
Pick-up venue:
Sundays (as advised), corner of Willowbrook Place and Kaurilands Rd, Glen Eden, just down from entrance to Glen Intermediate School, 23 Kaurilands Rd, Glen Eden, between… View moreWest Auckland Pick Up & Delivery Only.
Firewood is a Level 4 Essential Utility Service, being a solid fuel.
Pick-up venue:
Sundays (as advised), corner of Willowbrook Place and Kaurilands Rd, Glen Eden, just down from entrance to Glen Intermediate School, 23 Kaurilands Rd, Glen Eden, between 1pm - 2pm (please look for blue sign-written car, grey-covered silver trailer, and $5 Firewood lawn signs).
Local Delivery is available during COVID Level 3 & 4 ($10.00 delivery fee, 5 bag minimum order, online pre-payment required to Kiwibank, 38-9007-0236148-00, Ref: Your name).
Text Orders:
Phone 0204 192-9415 to pre-order your firewood with your name, email address, and # of bags required on the day (deadline for placing orders is Friday 5pm of the pick-up week, so we have time to bag the wood for the Sunday pick up). We will send you a confirmation text to confirm your order.
Local Delivery is available during COVID Level 3 & 4 ($10.00 delivery fee, 5 bag minimum order, online pre-payment required to Kiwibank, 38-9007-0236148-00, Ref: Your name.
Email Orders:
Email 5dollarfirewood@gmail.com to pre-order your firewood and include your name, phone number, and # of bags required on the day (deadline for placing orders is Friday 5pm of the pick-up week, so we have time to bag the wood for the Sunday pick-up). We will send you a confirmation email to confirm your order.
Local Delivery is available during COVID Level 3 & 4 ($10.00 delivery fee, 5 bag minimum order, online pre-payment required to Kiwibank, 38-9007-0236148-00, Ref: Your name.
Placing an order is really important - we sold out in 11 minutes at the last pick-up.
Get an (Approx.) 10-15kg bag of dry, factory off-cut (sawn to size for use in wood-burners), untreated firewood for just $5 a bag.
This firewood is priced at less than half the cost of a similar-sized firewood bags.
Subscribers who send us their mobile or email address will get first notice of location pick up on the day.
Online or Cash payment only - no eftpos, and no change given, so please bring exact money for order pick-up.
NB: We recommend de-bagging the wood after pick up, and letting the wood air out in a covered area at home.
Please see the following link for tips on increasing the burn time and heat efficiency of your wood burner:
www.youtube.com...
Hey neighbours, is it time to get your finances in order? If lockdown has focused your mind on the state of your bank account, we’re here to help.
Stuff has launched MoneyIQ, an eight-week email course that will give you all the basics you need to get your money sorted and start working towards … View moreHey neighbours, is it time to get your finances in order? If lockdown has focused your mind on the state of your bank account, we’re here to help.
Stuff has launched MoneyIQ, an eight-week email course that will give you all the basics you need to get your money sorted and start working towards a brighter, richer future. You can sign up for free here.
From pine cones to tree-shaped centrepieces, have fun creating your own Christmas decor with Resene’s festive, on-trend colour combinations. Combine your favourite Resene testpot colours to match your Christmas style. Find out how to create your own.
To use a quote within the article from the Stuff journalist, Charlie Mitchell, "The more time I spend in this world, the more I understand this is the perfect propaganda tool."
www.stuff.co.nz...
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