Saturday's Funny: 😉🤢Do you fart in bed?🤢😉
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke, the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was.
He said, “Honey you were right, all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.
“What do you mean?” asked his wife.
“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…..”
😄🤣😄🤣😄
🌉🛶 Early Birds Might Crack This One First… or Not? 🥚🧠
A person is crossing a bridge and sees a boat full of people, yet there isn't a single person on board.
How is this possible?
(Susan from Massey kindly provided this head-scratcher ... thanks, Susan!)
Do you think you know the answer? Simply 'Like' this post if you know the answer and the big reveal will be posted in the comments at 2pm on the day!
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🪱🐦 When are you the most productive? 🌙🦉
The Post has been diving into our daily habits, and research suggests being an early bird or a night owl isn’t just a choice—it’s biology! We all have that specific time when our brains finally "click" into gear.
This raises a big question for the modern workplace. To get the best out of everyone, should employers accommodate our natural body clocks? This idea is at the heart of the four-day work week and flexible scheduling movements.
We want to hear from you:
1. When does your brain "click" into gear?
2. Would a flexible (or shortened) schedule change the way you work?
House cleaning
We are looking for a friendly, efficient and reliable lady to do 2 or 3 hours a week domestic cleaning ( dusting, bath / loo, kitchen surfaces, mop floor etc.) in Titirangi. The house is generally very tidy and clean - but wanting some help to keep it that way and free up some time.
$25/ hour cash.
Text Jack 021 755 321
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