🐟🐟Monday's funny - Pet fish🐟🐟
A man was stopped by a fishery officer recently with two chilly bins full of live fish in water, leaving a river well known for its fishing.
The fishery officer asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Nah, my friend, I ain't got no license. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the river and let 'em swim round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into this chilly in and I take 'em home."
"That's a bunch of rubbish! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the fishery officer for a moment and then said, "It's the truth. I'll show you. It really works."
"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"
The man poured the fish into the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the fishery officer turned to him and said, "Well?"
"Well, what?" said the man.
"When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH!"
"What fish?"
Scam Alert: Bank cold calls
ASB is warning customers about reports of cold calls from scammers claiming to be from ASB. These scammers are trying to obtain personal information, including usernames, dates of birth, and verification codes sent to your mobile phone.
🛡️ The "Caller Check" Test
If you get a call from someone claiming to be from ASB and you’re unsure, just ask them for a Caller Check. You will then be able to verify the call through the app.
Remember, banks will:
❌ Never ask for your banking passwords, PINs, or verification codes
❌ Never need to know your full credit card number – especially the CVC
❌ Never ask you to download software or remotely access your device
❌ Never ask you to purchase gift cards or transfer funds.
If you have received a phone call and think your account has been compromised, call ASB on 0800 ASB FRAUD (0800 272 372), or visit your local branch.
🧩😏 Riddle me this, Neighbours…
I am an odd number. Take away a letter and I become even. What number am I?
Do you think you know the answer?
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Notice of intention to control targeted weeds
Weather permitting spot spraying will be carried out in the following areas during March 2026.
Albert-Eden,
Puketapapa & Whau
Local Boards,
Auckland Domain,
Manukau Memorial Gardens,
North Shore
Memorial Park,
Waikumete Cemetery.
Herbicide applications will be carried out in reserves, cycleways, street gardens, street kerb and channels and berms/boundary edges. No spraying will be undertaken in agreed no-spray zones, during this period.
Auckland Council operates from a Code of Practice that governs all spray operations. Spraying will be undertaken by Programmed Facility Management.
For more information please phone Auckland Council on 09 301 0101.
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