Your home, your safe haven
Your home is your sanctuary, and that’s why Ryman villages are designed to be safe havens.
We’ve prepared for adverse events, so you don’t have to.
Your safety and your family’s peace of mind are our priority. Every Ryman village has staff available 24/7 and backup generators for emergencies. If something happens, you’re in safe hands.
We’ll take care of everything and make sure that you have what you need.
If you or a loved one are over 70, Ryman has a range of options from emergency accommodation through to townhouses or apartments available to purchase.
New Year, New Questions You Won’t Solve!
I get smaller every time I take a bath.
What am I?
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What it feels like speaking with a MAGA American:
Me: “Your total is $44.19. Cash or card?”
The customer hands me a credit card but the chip inside it has been hole-punched out.
Me: “Uh, I don’t think this will work.”
Customer: “Why not? It hasn’t expired and I have money in my account.”
Me: “Sir… the chip is gone.”
Customer: “I didn’t want the chip.”
Me: “The card won’t work without it.”
Customer: “It just means I can’t enter my PIN, but you can still swipe it.”
Me: “I don’t think it will work, sir.”
Customer: “Just swipe it.”
I swipe it to prove a point.
Me: “It’s not working, sir.”
Customer: “Then you’re doing it wrong. Swipe it again!”
I do so again with the same result.
Customer: “Maybe you should swipe it so that the magnetic strip isn’t the thing being swiped?”
Me: *Swiping it as suggested.* “Sure, why not? About as much chance of it going through without the magnetic strip as there is without the chip – oh look, it didn’t work.”
Customer: “Your machine must be broken!”