An apologetic love letter to the Henderson Covid Testing Station🥰

Fiona from Henderson

Well, it was time for the weekly Covid testing (job requirement).

Have I told you how much I love each test?
If I have, I WAS LYING!!!

We normally go to the wonderful people down at the Henderson branch.
They are so caring, so sensitive and oh so gentle.
All of them possess a great sense of humour.

We try to go early before the hoards line up, but this morning, everyone had the same idea.
It must be those positive results discovered at the retirement place that has got so many lined up to be tested.

Anyway, so we popped into another one closer to work and apart from the wheel aligning massive potholes, everything was plodding along nicely.
The lanes (yes two lanes) were moving along quite quickly.
“Excellent”, we thought.

Our turn came. The man was done first … bleeding heck!!
The solitary tear that trickled down his cheek, the really watery eyes and let's not forget the extra loud cough he had to do to clear his nasal passage that made us all jump.

Next, I was up – “here we go”, I thought.

OMG!!! I saw stars, I saw the rings around Saturn, she went deep and hard.
It felt as though I could breathe fire through that nostril when she had finished – it was a real stinger!
I even asked her if she had found my belly button while she was there.

She may have shot the swab up into our nasal passages via a cannon or maybe she took a running start but believe me, this is the deepest any of the testers have gone and boy, we could feel it - it was really uncomfortable.

Now, the decision has been made, we won’t be using that branch again and we feel as though we have been caught cheating on our beloved Henderson branch and this was the price we had to pay.

I will have to grovel now to them and apologise for being disloyal – maybe I should bring chocolate?

I’m sorry Henderson Branch, you are simply the best and we will never again stray or look at another.

See you on Monday morning for that gentle touch that you all have.

From your loyal fans – take care.