Saturday's Funny: 😉🤢Do you fart in bed?🤢😉
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke, the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was.
He said, “Honey you were right, all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.
“What do you mean?” asked his wife.
“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…..”
😄🤣😄🤣😄
Poll: Should all neighbours have to contribute to improvements?
An Auckland court has ruled a woman doesn’t have to contribute towards the cost of fixing a driveway she shares with 10 neighbours.
When thinking about fences, driveways or tree felling, for example, do you think all neighbours should have to pay if the improvements directly benefit them?
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82.4% Yes
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14.8% No
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2.8% Other - I'll share below
Live Q&A: Garden maintenance with Crewcut
This Wednesday, we're having another Neighbourly Q&A session. This time with John Bracewell from Crewcut.
John Bracewell, former Black Caps coach turned Franchisee Development Manager and currently the face of Crewcut’s #Movember campaign, knows a thing or two about keeping the grass looking sharp—whether it’s on a cricket pitch or in your backyard!
As a seasoned Crewcut franchisee, John is excited to answer your lawn and gardening questions. After years of perfecting the greens on the field, he's ready to share tips on how to knock your garden out of the park. Let's just say he’s as passionate about lush lawns as he is about a good game of cricket!
John is happy to answer questions about lawn mowing, tree/hedge trimming, tidying your garden, ride on mowing, you name it! He'll be online on Wednesday, 27th of November to answer them all.
Share your question below now ⬇️
Today’s Riddle – Can You Outsmart Your Neighbours?
First you eat me, then you get eaten. What am I?
Do you think you know the answer to our daily riddle? Don't spoil it for your neighbours! Simply 'Like' this post and we'll post the answer in the comments below at 2pm.
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Head here and hover on the Following button on the top right of the page (and it will show Unfollow) and then click it. If it is giving you the option to Follow, then you've successfully unfollowed the Riddles page.
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