What's the difference between 5:1 and 20:1 relationship?

Ann from Relationship Wellbeing Specialist

One of my consistent messages to couples is the 5:1 ratio of positive interactions to negative interactions. But this message needs some unpacking.

5:1, according to our research, is the ratio that couples must reach during a conflict. This prevents couples from being overwhelmed with negativity during an already difficult experience.

20:1, on the other hand, is the ratio you should meet every day. Twenty positive interactions for every single negative interaction!

Sounds hard, right? It isn't if you are attentive and intentional. Start scanning the horizon in your relationship for positive things to appreciate about your partner.

Then tell them. Show them. Be there for them and with them, and turn toward them again and again. That's how you hit 20:1.