What's the difference between 5:1 and 20:1 relationship?
One of my consistent messages to couples is the 5:1 ratio of positive interactions to negative interactions. But this message needs some unpacking.
5:1, according to our research, is the ratio that couples must reach during a conflict. This prevents couples from being overwhelmed with negativity during an already difficult experience.
20:1, on the other hand, is the ratio you should meet every day. Twenty positive interactions for every single negative interaction!
Sounds hard, right? It isn't if you are attentive and intentional. Start scanning the horizon in your relationship for positive things to appreciate about your partner.
Then tell them. Show them. Be there for them and with them, and turn toward them again and again. That's how you hit 20:1.
Share your favourite main crop potato recipe and win a copy of our mag!
Love potatoes? We will give away free copies of the May 2026 issue to readers whose potato recipes are used in our magazine. To be in the running, make sure you email your family's favourite way to enjoy potatoes: mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, by March 1, 2026.
Scam Alert: Bank cold calls
ASB is warning customers about reports of cold calls from scammers claiming to be from ASB. These scammers are trying to obtain personal information, including usernames, dates of birth, and verification codes sent to your mobile phone.
🛡️ The "Caller Check" Test
If you get a call from someone claiming to be from ASB and you’re unsure, just ask them for a Caller Check. You will then be able to verify the call through the app.
Remember, banks will:
❌ Never ask for your banking passwords, PINs, or verification codes
❌ Never need to know your full credit card number – especially the CVC
❌ Never ask you to download software or remotely access your device
❌ Never ask you to purchase gift cards or transfer funds.
If you have received a phone call and think your account has been compromised, call ASB on 0800 ASB FRAUD (0800 272 372), or visit your local branch.
🧩😏 Riddle me this, Neighbours…
I am an odd number. Take away a letter and I become even. What number am I?
Do you think you know the answer?
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