Why older and younger people need to talk to each other
Did you know older people speak a different language to younger?
The same words, and the same order to them, but often with completely different meanings.
I have a friend, in her 80’s, who used to be a teacher, and is a firm believer in saying exactly what one means, and meaning exactly what one says. As do most older people I know.
That’s not to say younger people don’t. The problem comes when modern language rules meets older language simplicity. And how this can lead to distress on all parts.
My friend hired a professional arborist, to take care of some problem trees, vines and bushes on her property.
My friend explained that the offending plants needed removing, because they had become so overgrown as to be out of anyone’s ability to control them and it was a constant recurring issue.
Through face to face, txt and email, with photos, they agreed that the problems would be removed. And that’s where the communication fell down.
My friend left the arborist to remove the plants, and carried on about her day. When it came time to pick up her grandchild from school, she passed the arborist, packing up. Finished. My friend glanced over to the part of the garden where one of the problems was, saw nothing there and agreed to pay the invoice.
When she came home and went to show her granddaughter the clearing she could now run around in, she discovered the arborist had only chopped the overgrowth off and left the stumps and trunks to regrow.
This was not what my friend asked for. She asked for the problem plants to be removed.
When queried the arborist said “that’s what I did”.
I have asked other younger people and they agree with her. I asked older people and they disagree with her. As do I.
Why? Simple. If I go to a doctor who tells me I have a tumour that must be removed, I really don’t want the visible part cut off and the root left to regrow. Would you?
Younger people, talk, and listen to older people. Don’t filter their words through your dictionary. And older, people you have to learn to clarify what you say. Ask for feedback, don’t just assume what you said has the same meaning for the young person you are talking to, as it would for your elderly friends.
It wouldn’t hurt you to learn a few new colloquialisms.
Perhaps we need an evolving “Then to Now” dictionary/thesaurus. After all, language is a living thing, and all living things evolve.
New World Havelock North car park
Sitting in my work van, in the new New World carpark and I’ve been getting dirty looks. I get it. My van is halfway into the driving area. Literally. If you look, even from a distance, you’ll see my back end is almost hard against the fence, with my towball around the corner of the fence.
My work van is over 6m long and the car parks are only about 4.5m. The only spaces I can park out of the way are the nearest and the furthest corners from the door. And that still means parking across another carpark. Today, both those parks were taken.
Now, before you point out that I shouldn’t bring such a big vehicle to the supermarket, 1) why not? Everyone needs to shop; and 2) I drive a retirement village resident passenger van. And they have as much right to shop as anyone.
Okay, so park in the mobility parks. Nope. I don’t have a Mobility decal or placard. And, those parks are the same length as all the others.
So, if you want to get me to stop blocking the way, do the supermarket survey on your receipts and ask for one way driving around the carpark (clockwise is the most logical and safest) and oversized parks. Almost every other supermarket has them. Vehicles are getting bigger, parks aren’t.
Changing the conversation around dementia
Reducing stigma starts with the words we use, and shifting the way we talk about dementia is a powerful step forward. This World Alzheimer’s Month, Ryman is highlighting the importance of reducing the discrimination caused by stigma surrounding people living with dementia.
Caroline Bartle, Ryman’s Dementia Care and Innovations Lead, says that using appropriate language when referring to people with Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia can foster a more inclusive society. This not only benefits those experiencing cognitive decline but also their families and the wider community.
Click read more for the full article.
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