Why older and younger people need to talk to each other

Julie Neighbourly Lead from Havelock North

Did you know older people speak a different language to younger?
The same words, and the same order to them, but often with completely different meanings.

I have a friend, in her 80’s, who used to be a teacher, and is a firm believer in saying exactly what one means, and meaning exactly what one says. As do most older people I know.

That’s not to say younger people don’t. The problem comes when modern language rules meets older language simplicity. And how this can lead to distress on all parts.

My friend hired a professional arborist, to take care of some problem trees, vines and bushes on her property.

My friend explained that the offending plants needed removing, because they had become so overgrown as to be out of anyone’s ability to control them and it was a constant recurring issue.

Through face to face, txt and email, with photos, they agreed that the problems would be removed. And that’s where the communication fell down.

My friend left the arborist to remove the plants, and carried on about her day. When it came time to pick up her grandchild from school, she passed the arborist, packing up. Finished. My friend glanced over to the part of the garden where one of the problems was, saw nothing there and agreed to pay the invoice.

When she came home and went to show her granddaughter the clearing she could now run around in, she discovered the arborist had only chopped the overgrowth off and left the stumps and trunks to regrow.

This was not what my friend asked for. She asked for the problem plants to be removed.

When queried the arborist said “that’s what I did”.

I have asked other younger people and they agree with her. I asked older people and they disagree with her. As do I.

Why? Simple. If I go to a doctor who tells me I have a tumour that must be removed, I really don’t want the visible part cut off and the root left to regrow. Would you?

Younger people, talk, and listen to older people. Don’t filter their words through your dictionary. And older, people you have to learn to clarify what you say. Ask for feedback, don’t just assume what you said has the same meaning for the young person you are talking to, as it would for your elderly friends.

It wouldn’t hurt you to learn a few new colloquialisms.

Perhaps we need an evolving “Then to Now” dictionary/thesaurus. After all, language is a living thing, and all living things evolve.