Saturday's Funny: 😉🤢Do you fart in bed?🤢😉
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke, the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was.
He said, “Honey you were right, all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.
“What do you mean?” asked his wife.
“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…..”
😄🤣😄🤣😄
Poll: 🤖 What skills do you think give a CV the ultimate edge in a robot-filled workplace?
The Reserve Bank has shared some pretty blunt advice: there’s no such thing as a “safe” job anymore 🛟😑
Robots are stepping into repetitive roles in factories, plants and warehouses. AI is taking care of the admin tasks that once filled many mid-level office jobs.
We want to know: As the world evolves, what skills do you think give a CV the ultimate edge in a robot-filled workplace?
Want to read more? The Press has you covered!
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52.5% Human-centred experience and communication
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14.7% Critical thinking
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30.1% Resilience and adaptability
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2.7% Other - I will share below!
The latest product recalls
We are bringing you the latest list of recalled products from across the country. Make sure you aren't using these at home!
Click on the blue text to learn more about that particular product and why it was recalled.
Food and household item recalls:
⚠️Cereulide toxin risk in Nestlé brand Alfamino Infant Formula (0-12 months) recalled due to the possible presence of the toxin cereulide
Nestlé Milo Dipped Snack Bars
BC Hot Water Bottles sold at Bargain Chemist
Product Recalls: Infant care and clothing
Nature Baby Sleeping Gown
Product Recalls: Toys
Sensory Game Controller - sold at Kmart
Product Recalls: Cosmetics
Outside Beauty & Skincare SPF 50+ Mineral Primer (2 batches)
Anessa and Shiseido Anessa sunscreens sold only at Daikoku
Biore and Kao Biore sunscreens sold only at Daikoku
Kose Sunscreens sold only at Daikoku
Mentholatum sunscreens sold only at Daikoku
Pigeon sunscreens sold only at Daikoku
Rohto sunscreens sold only at Daikoku
Product Recalls: Electronics
Harvest Right Freeze Dryer HRFDSBKP-PP sold at Costco
Product Recalls: Other
Michelin X Multi Z and X Line Energy Z, size: 355/50R22.5, load/speed index:156K
UPDATED GASGAS Motorcycles: GASGAS Cross Country and Motocross model motorcycles with BRAKTEC brake system. New VINS added
Check the New Zealand Transport Agency's handy vehicle recall list here.
See past months' recalls. Stay safe, neighbours!
Poll: Should complete designs be shared with the public, or should the community help shape the designs from the start?
The Post recently shared an opinion piece on the Harbour Crossing and why a more democratic approach might be needed 🚗🚲👟
While most decisions sit within the political arena, many organisations—like NZTA—manage long-term projects that go beyond party lines. Politics can sometimes disrupt progress, and the next Harbour Crossing is a big decision that will affect all Aucklanders.
We’d love your thoughts: Should near-complete, shovel-ready designs be shared with the public, or should the community have a hand in shaping the designs from the start?
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80.2% Community feedback and transparency is needed.
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19.8% No. This would be impossible in practice.
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