1612 days ago

Wednesday's funny: 😄🏪Kmart Interview🏪 😄

Fiona from Henderson

Jennifer, a manager at Kmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening.

After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified.
Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

The first man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning."

"That's very good!" replied Jennifer. "And now you sir," she asked the second man.

"Hmmm... let me see... A BLINK! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

“Excellent!" said Jennifer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed." She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out at my dad's farm, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man. “It's hard to beat the speed of light," she said.

Turning to Ernest, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question.

Old Ernest replied, "After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT?" said Jennifer, stunned by the response.

"Oh sure," said Ernest. "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already popped my pants."

Ernest is the new greeter at the Kmart near you!

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More messages from your neighbours
1 day ago

Poll: 🤖 What skills do you think give a CV the ultimate edge in a robot-filled workplace?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

The Reserve Bank has shared some pretty blunt advice: there’s no such thing as a “safe” job anymore 🛟😑

Robots are stepping into repetitive roles in factories, plants and warehouses. AI is taking care of the admin tasks that once filled many mid-level office jobs.

We want to know: As the world evolves, what skills do you think give a CV the ultimate edge in a robot-filled workplace?

Want to read more? The Press has you covered!

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🤖 What skills do you think give a CV the ultimate edge in a robot-filled workplace?
  • 53.3% Human-centred experience and communication
    53.3% Complete
  • 14.3% Critical thinking
    14.3% Complete
  • 29.5% Resilience and adaptability
    29.5% Complete
  • 2.9% Other - I will share below!
    2.9% Complete
315 votes
2 hours ago

🌟 Customer serving volunteers needed – Kumeu SPCA Op Shop 🌟

The Team from SPCA Auckland - Centres & Op Shops

We’re looking for friendly, reliable volunteers aged 15+ to join us on the shop floor. We especially need help serving customers, pricing donations, and steaming clothes - but other tasks are available too.

📆 4-hour shifts, any day of the week (10am–2pm or 12pm–4pm)
💙 Ideally once per week, but any support is welcome

📍 49 Main Road
🔗 Apply today at www.spca.nz...

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2 hours ago

Door knockers

Colin from Henderson

Kids knocking on your door and running off is still a thing in 2026..