🐟🐟Monday's funny - Pet fish🐟🐟
A man was stopped by a fishery officer recently with two chilly bins full of live fish in water, leaving a river well known for its fishing.
The fishery officer asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Nah, my friend, I ain't got no license. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the river and let 'em swim round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into this chilly in and I take 'em home."
"That's a bunch of rubbish! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the fishery officer for a moment and then said, "It's the truth. I'll show you. It really works."
"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"
The man poured the fish into the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the fishery officer turned to him and said, "Well?"
"Well, what?" said the man.
"When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH!"
"What fish?"
🧩😏 Riddle me this, Neighbours…
I am an odd number. Take away a letter and I become even. What number am I?
Do you think you know the answer?
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Scam Alert: Bank cold calls
ASB is warning customers about reports of cold calls from scammers claiming to be from ASB. These scammers are trying to obtain personal information, including usernames, dates of birth, and verification codes sent to your mobile phone.
🛡️ The "Caller Check" Test
If you get a call from someone claiming to be from ASB and you’re unsure, just ask them for a Caller Check. You will then be able to verify the call through the app.
Remember, banks will:
❌ Never ask for your banking passwords, PINs, or verification codes
❌ Never need to know your full credit card number – especially the CVC
❌ Never ask you to download software or remotely access your device
❌ Never ask you to purchase gift cards or transfer funds.
If you have received a phone call and think your account has been compromised, call ASB on 0800 ASB FRAUD (0800 272 372), or visit your local branch.
Some Choice News!
DOC is rolling out a new tool to help figure out what to tackle first when it comes to protecting our threatened species and the things putting them at risk.
Why does this matter? As Nikki Macdonald from The Post points out, we’re a country with around 4,400 threatened species. With limited time and funding, conservation has always meant making tough calls about what gets attention first.
For the first time, DOC has put real numbers around what it would take to do everything needed to properly safeguard our unique natural environment. The new BioInvest tool shows the scale of the challenge: 310,177 actions across 28,007 sites.
Now that we can see the full picture, it brings the big question into focus: how much do we, as Kiwis, truly value protecting nature — and what are we prepared to invest to make it happen?
We hope this brings a smile!
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