Experts in Covered Outdoor Living Areas
At Shades Direct we use construction grade aluminium, 316 marine grade stainless steel fixings and 6mm flat sheet roofing.
We are best in class in terms of quality and workmanship. Our Outsider and Clearspan awnings are bespoke made to measure for your home.
Don’t be fooled by compromise’s!
Poll: Would you rather: Christmas in summer forever or winter forever?
Just a bit of a fun poll to get you thinking.
If you had to live out your Christmas days, would you prefer it was a summer Christmas or a winter Christmas?
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63.3% Summer
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35.4% Winter
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1.3% Other - I'll share below
New Year, New Questions You Won’t Solve!
I get smaller every time I take a bath.
What am I?
Do you think you know the answer to our daily riddle? Don't spoil it for your neighbours! Simply 'Like' this post and we'll post the answer in the comments below at 2pm.
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What it feels like speaking with a MAGA American:
Me: “Your total is $44.19. Cash or card?”
The customer hands me a credit card but the chip inside it has been hole-punched out.
Me: “Uh, I don’t think this will work.”
Customer: “Why not? It hasn’t expired and I have money in my account.”
Me: “Sir… the chip is gone.”
Customer: “I didn’t want the chip.”
Me: “The card won’t work without it.”
Customer: “It just means I can’t enter my PIN, but you can still swipe it.”
Me: “I don’t think it will work, sir.”
Customer: “Just swipe it.”
I swipe it to prove a point.
Me: “It’s not working, sir.”
Customer: “Then you’re doing it wrong. Swipe it again!”
I do so again with the same result.
Customer: “Maybe you should swipe it so that the magnetic strip isn’t the thing being swiped?”
Me: *Swiping it as suggested.* “Sure, why not? About as much chance of it going through without the magnetic strip as there is without the chip – oh look, it didn’t work.”
Customer: “Your machine must be broken!”
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