Have you got your tickets yet?
For only $15 a ticket, you could be in to win this brand-new, fully furnished Jennian home in Clarks Beach, Auckland worth over $1 million.
Featuring three bedrooms, two bathrooms and an open plan kitchen, living and dining area, this home is waiting to be lived in and loved by its new owners.
Make this property your permanent residence, a holiday home, rent it or even sell it – it could be all yours! Don’t forget, tickets also make great gifts.
Celebrate the Heart Foundation’s 30th Anniversary Lottery and get your tickets today!
New Year, New Questions You Won’t Solve!
I get smaller every time I take a bath.
What am I?
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What it feels like speaking with a MAGA American:
Me: “Your total is $44.19. Cash or card?”
The customer hands me a credit card but the chip inside it has been hole-punched out.
Me: “Uh, I don’t think this will work.”
Customer: “Why not? It hasn’t expired and I have money in my account.”
Me: “Sir… the chip is gone.”
Customer: “I didn’t want the chip.”
Me: “The card won’t work without it.”
Customer: “It just means I can’t enter my PIN, but you can still swipe it.”
Me: “I don’t think it will work, sir.”
Customer: “Just swipe it.”
I swipe it to prove a point.
Me: “It’s not working, sir.”
Customer: “Then you’re doing it wrong. Swipe it again!”
I do so again with the same result.
Customer: “Maybe you should swipe it so that the magnetic strip isn’t the thing being swiped?”
Me: *Swiping it as suggested.* “Sure, why not? About as much chance of it going through without the magnetic strip as there is without the chip – oh look, it didn’t work.”
Customer: “Your machine must be broken!”