923 days ago

Friday's funny: ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ€A Rat in a Bar๐Ÿ€๐Ÿ˜€

Fiona from Henderson

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?"

The bartender considers it, then agrees.

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat.

He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano.

The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the night, the bartender thinks that nothing could possibly top the first trick so he agrees.

The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.

While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog.

"Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale."

The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front.

"No," he insists, "he's not for sale."

The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash.

The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.

"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded.

"That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!"

"Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."

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Let emotion drive you.

Cupra

Discover why emotion is our driving force. Experience the thrilling performance, stunning design and amazing value of CUPRA. Book a test drive now. Find out more

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5 hours ago

Staying home over the break?

Toka Tลซ Ake EQC

The long weekend is the perfect time to make your place safer for an earthquake with these steps:

โ€ข Find out where you can turn off your water and gas mains
โ€ข Check your chimney for any signs of wear and tear, or damage
โ€ข Check your home's foundations are secured
โ€ข Move heavy items that are up high to safer, lower down locations.
โ€ข Secure tall and heavy furniture and appliances

These simple actions can keep your whฤnau safer in case of a big shake, so tick them off and make the most of your break.
Find out more

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17 hours ago

Bob Francis Wins Senior New Zealander Of The Year

Murray Halberg Retirement Village

Seven-term Mayor of Masterton, Bob Francis CNZM QSO MBE JP, has been named the 2024 Ryman Healthcare Senior New Zealander of the Year Te Mฤtฤpuputu o te Tau.

Affectionately dubbed โ€˜Mr Wairarapaโ€™, Bob has served his community in multiple areas, including health services, commercial development, the arts, aviation, homelessness, conservation and sports.

Bobโ€™s award signifies the sixth time Ryman Healthcare has supported this category of the Kiwibank New Zealander of the Year Awards, which provides a fantastic opportunity to celebrate Kiwi seniors who continue to make positive contributions towards the future of Aotearoa.

Click read more for the full article.

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