1157 days ago

Saturday's Funny: 😉🤢Do you fart in bed?🤢😉

Fiona from Henderson

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke, the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.

He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.

She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out.

Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was.

He said, “Honey you were right, all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.

“What do you mean?” asked his wife.

“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…..”
😄🤣😄🤣😄

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More messages from your neighbours
20 days ago

What's your favourite recipe for courgettes?

Mei Leng Wong Reporter from NZ Gardener & Get Growing

Kia ora neighbours. If you've got a family recipe for courgettes, we'd love to see it and maybe publish it in our magazine. Send your recipe to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, and if we use it in the mag, you will receive a free copy of our January 2025 issue.

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1 day ago

It’s Riddle Time! Beat the Neighbourhood with Your Smarts!

Riddler from The Neighbourly Riddler

Which of the following words don't belong in the group and why?
CORSET, COSTER, SECTOR, ESCORT, COURTS

Do you think you know the answer to our daily riddle? Don't spoil it for your neighbours! Simply 'Like' this post and we'll post the answer in the comments below at 2pm.

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9 hours ago

Te Atatu Food Truck Friday Christmas market - THIS Friday - December 6th

Joseph from Te Atatu South

Te Atatu Food Truck Fridays special Te Atatu Twilight Christmas market is on THIS Friday (December 6th). There will be a selection of Auckland’s best street food along with over 25 Christmas market stalls inside the main hall and Te Atatu repair café. Get your Christmas shopping done and get some tasty dinner treats too!

Save the date at Save the date at www.facebook.com....

December 6th - 4:30pm to 8:30pm – Te Atatu South Community Centre.

The food trucks joining the night will be:

- Those Guys J & M - Philly cheese steak rolls, burgers, fries and irresistible cookies.
- Baya Taco’s - Everyone's favourite authentic Mexican cuisine queen.
- Mr and Mrs Food - tasty meat on rice/ chip dishes, summer rolls and crunchy cheesy hotdogs
- The Langos Lady- Hungarian Fried Bread with sweet and savoury toppings
- Akemi’s Gyoza - Japanese Dumplings that just get you craving more.
- Cream Ice Cream – Delicious real fruit ice cream and chocolate covered strawberries
- Victor and Vern - Coffee and iced, hot chocolate

We will also have a free ReCreators Christmas workshop. The 249 Edmonton road art gallery will also be open with items for sale.

Come grab some tasty food and soak up the community vibes. Plenty of seating available or picnic in the park. Parking available on site and the grass field behind the St Johns hall. Walking or cycling up makes it even easier.

A great way to spend a Friday night.