How well do you know your neighbours?
Some people refuse contact with neighbours even when they live in adjacent houses / apartments.
Do you know your neighbours? I don’t. I have been living in the same apartment for three years, but haven’t exchanged a word with my neighbours. Wonder why?
Let me explain. I’m kind of an antisocial. Don’t make friends easily, and don’t talk to strangers. An antiseptic smile is the best I can manage. Prefers to keep to myself and stick to the same circle of friends and relatives. Well, you can call me an introvert. That would explain my lack of interaction with neighbours.
My wife’s exactly the opposite. Yet, she has failed to strike up a conversation with the occupants of the flat across the corridor. The doors face each other. At times, we open the doors simultaneously, and the elderly lady behaves as if we don’t exist. So do the two young adults. We hardly get to see the other neighbours.
How young children make a difference
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Maybe they want to be left alone. I understand that. Yet, it feels strange. Weird, actually!
Humans, they say, are social animals. Our lives are interlinked and interdependent in some way, especially when we share a building. The blank stares and the radio silence in the elevators baffle me. Isn’t this a community? I ask myself.
I lived in another apartment for 20 years, and the experience was totally different. We had plenty of friends in the building and the neighbouring blocks. Some of those friendships exist even today, even after they have moved to other countries.
Much of the indifference may be due to big-city syndrome. People are so busy with their lives that they don’t have time for socialising.-
What’s the difference? One reason was our children. They were young and had plenty of friends. I remember a time when the doors of three neighbouring flats, including ours, were never locked as children kept moving from one house to another to continue their games. That was when my daughter was a toddler. At least 25 children in the neighbourhood would attend my son’s birthdays.
The children’s parents became our friends, and we called on each other for festive occasions and pujas. Sweets used to be sent and received during Diwali. Help used to be sought and given. Seems like another era.
Even after we moved, my wife maintained friendships in our old neighbourhood. She frequently travels there to attend birthdays, pujas, picnics, and other community activities. I often tease her, saying that her social skills haven’t worked in the new neighbourhood. She shrugs it off, saying it takes two people to strike a friendship.
Much of the indifference may be due to big-city syndrome. People are so busy with their lives that they don’t have time for socialising. When you get home from work late, visiting the neighbours is the last thing on tired minds.
What about weekends and holidays? Plans would have been made weeks ahead, and grocery shopping and prayers at a temple or a church are a weekend phenomenon. In homes where husbands and wives work, Saturdays and Sundays can turn into marathon cooking sessions to cover the week. All that doesn’t leave much time for neighbours and friends.
In many cases, it’s down to privacy. People value their privacy, which is why they keep to themselves. Imagine if your neighbours are nosy parkers. They could make lives miserable with incessant questions and the insatiable curiosity to know everything that happens in the neighbourhood.
None of us would want that. Right? Then why am I complaining?
You don’t have to take the biblical phrase “Love Thy Neighbour” literally. A little bit of social contact between neighbours wouldn’t hurt. And you don’t have to be friends with all the neighbours. A hello, a good morning, a smile, or a nod would suffice.
Do I do that? Yes, I do. Especially when I’m riding the elevator. It feels good when others return the gesture. A smile is the best. So keep smiling.
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The Greater Atua - Day 8
In Māori culture, atua refers to spiritual beings, ancestors, or gods that embody and oversee the forces of nature and the universe. Atua can represent elements like the sea, forests, sky, or even concepts such as peace or war. They are often linked to whakapapa (genealogy) and are seen as guardians and kaitiaki (caretakers) of their respective domains.
For example:
Tāne-mahuta: Atua of the forests and birds.
Tangaroa: Atua of the sea and marine life.
Ranginui: Atua of the sky (Sky Father).
Papatūānuku: The Earth Mother.
Hine-nui-te-pō: Atua of death and the underworld.
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In the sacred realms of Te Ao Māori, Tāne-mahuta (the atua of forests and birds) and Tangaroa (the atua of the sea) once had a disagreement. Each believed their mana (prestige) and influence over the natural world made them the greatest among the atua. Their debate grew heated, and to settle the matter, Io Matua Kore, the supreme being, appeared in the form of an unending pou (pillar).
Io proclaimed, "Whoever can reach either the top or the base of this pou will prove their greatness." Tāne-mahuta transformed into a hawk, soaring high into the skies to find the top, while Tangaroa shifted into a great taniwha and dove deep into the ocean to find the base.
Days turned into nights, and neither Tāne-mahuta nor Tangaroa could find the end of the pou. Tāne-mahuta’s wings grew tired as he flew higher and higher, and Tangaroa's strength waned as he swam deeper and deeper into the dark, cold depths of the moana (ocean). Eventually, both returned to the base of the pou, exhausted but determined to share their experiences.
Tāne-mahuta, embodying his role as kaitiaki (guardian), spoke the truth. "No matter how far I flew, I could not see the top of the pou. Its height is beyond comprehension, just as Io's wisdom and power are limitless."
Tangaroa, however, in his eagerness to prove his superiority, falsely claimed that he had touched the bottom of the pou. To support his claim, he called upon a kahawai (a fish) to nod in agreement. Io, knowing the truth, rebuked Tangaroa for his dishonesty and the kahawai for blindly supporting a lie.
As a result of his deceit, Tangaroa was told that while he would continue to command the respect of the seas, the realm of the skies and land would belong to Tāne-mahuta. The kahawai was cursed to be hunted endlessly by birds and humans alike, a reminder of the cost of blind allegiance to falsehoods. Tāne-mahuta, for his honesty and humility, was praised, and his forests and birds would be revered across the land.
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Moral of the Story
The story teaches us that truth and humility are greater than pride and deception. Greatness comes not from self-proclaimed superiority but from being steadfast in honesty and embracing one’s role as a kaitiaki. It also serves as a reminder that blindly following falsehoods can lead to consequences, just as the kahawai learned. In the Māori world, living with integrity and honouring the interconnectedness of all atua ensures balance and harmony in life.
Live Q&A: Garden maintenance with Crewcut
This Wednesday, we're having another Neighbourly Q&A session. This time with John Bracewell from Crewcut.
John Bracewell, former Black Caps coach turned Franchisee Development Manager and currently the face of Crewcut’s #Movember campaign, knows a thing or two about keeping the grass looking sharp—whether it’s on a cricket pitch or in your backyard!
As a seasoned Crewcut franchisee, John is excited to answer your lawn and gardening questions. After years of perfecting the greens on the field, he's ready to share tips on how to knock your garden out of the park. Let's just say he’s as passionate about lush lawns as he is about a good game of cricket!
John is happy to answer questions about lawn mowing, tree/hedge trimming, tidying your garden, ride on mowing, you name it! He'll be online on Wednesday, 27th of November to answer them all.
Share your question below now ⬇️
Poll: When should the tree go up? 🎄
From what we've heard, some Christmas trees are already being assembled and decorated.
What are your thoughts on the best time to get your Christmas tree up?
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4.6% Second half of November
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43.5% 1st December
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17.4% A week before Christmas
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33.3% Whenever you wish
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1.1% Other - I'll share below
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