20-30% OFF Selected Shell Motor Oils!
No matter what the drive, Shell engine oils provide superior protection against engine stress.
If you want ultimate engine performance, choose Shell Helix at Beaurepaires and get 20-30% off selected packs!*
Buy in-store or online now.
Hurry offer ends 25th August 2019.
Terms & Conditions:
The 20-30% discount on selected shell motor oils is valid for purchases in-store and online at www.beaurepaires.co.nz... between 12 August – 25 August 2019 (inclusive). For a full list of eligible products please visit beaurepaires.co.nz.... Offer applies to cash, EFTPOS, credit, and finance transactions. Standard finance criteria and charges apply to finance transactions. Offer excludes fleet, commercial and trade customers. Available at participating Beaurepaires stores nationwide. Whilst stocks last.
New Year, New Questions You Won’t Solve!
I get smaller every time I take a bath.
What am I?
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What it feels like speaking with a MAGA American:
Me: “Your total is $44.19. Cash or card?”
The customer hands me a credit card but the chip inside it has been hole-punched out.
Me: “Uh, I don’t think this will work.”
Customer: “Why not? It hasn’t expired and I have money in my account.”
Me: “Sir… the chip is gone.”
Customer: “I didn’t want the chip.”
Me: “The card won’t work without it.”
Customer: “It just means I can’t enter my PIN, but you can still swipe it.”
Me: “I don’t think it will work, sir.”
Customer: “Just swipe it.”
I swipe it to prove a point.
Me: “It’s not working, sir.”
Customer: “Then you’re doing it wrong. Swipe it again!”
I do so again with the same result.
Customer: “Maybe you should swipe it so that the magnetic strip isn’t the thing being swiped?”
Me: *Swiping it as suggested.* “Sure, why not? About as much chance of it going through without the magnetic strip as there is without the chip – oh look, it didn’t work.”
Customer: “Your machine must be broken!”