1592 days ago

🌧😄We all need a giggle on a rainy day😄🌧

Fiona from Henderson

WARNING TO LADIES OF A CERTAIN AGE!!
You've no doubt heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago.
I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs.
It was just that quick.
The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal.
Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?
I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.
Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.

And then the thieves struck again.

My bottom was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier.
But my new bottom was attached at least three inches lower than my original!
I realised I'd have to give up my jeans in favour of long skirts.

Two years ago I realised my arms had been switched.
One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush.

This was really getting scary; my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story.

Women of the world wake up and smell the coffee!
Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and me!
The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again, was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX.
This is happening to women everywhere every night.
WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P. S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

I thought this was too important not to pass on.
Have a wonderful day with a joy filled heart.
Always remember to laugh!! It helps the heart AND the wrinkles!!

P.P.S. Those same thieves just came into my closet and shrank my clothes!
How do they do that?

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More messages from your neighbours
7 days ago

Poll: Should all neighbours have to contribute to improvements?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

An Auckland court has ruled a woman doesn’t have to contribute towards the cost of fixing a driveway she shares with 10 neighbours.

When thinking about fences, driveways or tree felling, for example, do you think all neighbours should have to pay if the improvements directly benefit them?

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Should all neighbours have to contribute to improvements?
  • 82.1% Yes
    82.1% Complete
  • 15.2% No
    15.2% Complete
  • 2.7% Other - I'll share below
    2.7% Complete
2444 votes
1 hour ago

Cupboards of calm

The Team from Resene ColorShop New Lynn

Transform the inside of your humble storage spaces with Resene paint and you’ll be happy to delve into them in future.

Get our quick tips to transform your storage spaces.

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16 days ago

What's your favourite recipe for courgettes?

Mei Leng Wong Reporter from NZ Gardener & Get Growing

Kia ora neighbours. If you've got a family recipe for courgettes, we'd love to see it and maybe publish it in our magazine. Send your recipe to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, and if we use it in the mag, you will receive a free copy of our January 2025 issue.

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