457 days ago

Mid week giggle

Fiona from Henderson

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would provide child support until the child was 18.
She agreed but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card and write ‘Spaghetti’ on it. He would then arrange the child support payments.
One day about 8 months later, he came home to a very confused wife. “Honey, you received a very strange postcard today.”
“Oh really? Let me see.” he said.
The wife gave him the card and watched his face as he read it, turned white, and then fainted.
The car read: “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without. Send extra sauce.”

More messages from your neighbours
23 days ago

Poll: Would you rather: Christmas in summer forever or winter forever?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

Just a bit of a fun poll to get you thinking.

If you had to live out your Christmas days, would you prefer it was a summer Christmas or a winter Christmas?

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Would you rather: Christmas in summer forever or winter forever?
  • 63.3% Summer
    63.3% Complete
  • 35.4% Winter
    35.4% Complete
  • 1.3% Other - I'll share below
    1.3% Complete
2712 votes
21 hours ago

New Year, New Questions You Won’t Solve!

Riddler from The Neighbourly Riddler

I get smaller every time I take a bath.

What am I?

Do you think you know the answer to our daily riddle? Don't spoil it for your neighbours! Simply 'Like' this post and we'll post the answer in the comments below at 2pm.

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5 hours ago

What it feels like speaking with a MAGA American:

Markus from Green Bay

Me: “Your total is $44.19. Cash or card?”
The customer hands me a credit card but the chip inside it has been hole-punched out.
Me: “Uh, I don’t think this will work.”
Customer: “Why not? It hasn’t expired and I have money in my account.”
Me: “Sir… the chip is gone.”
Customer: “I didn’t want the chip.”
Me: “The card won’t work without it.”
Customer: “It just means I can’t enter my PIN, but you can still swipe it.”
Me: “I don’t think it will work, sir.”
Customer: “Just swipe it.”
I swipe it to prove a point.
Me: “It’s not working, sir.”
Customer: “Then you’re doing it wrong. Swipe it again!”
I do so again with the same result.
Customer: “Maybe you should swipe it so that the magnetic strip isn’t the thing being swiped?”
Me: *Swiping it as suggested.* “Sure, why not? About as much chance of it going through without the magnetic strip as there is without the chip – oh look, it didn’t work.”
Customer: “Your machine must be broken!”