Find a Retirement Village in New Zealand
Ryman Healthcare offers the very best of retirement living and aged care with retirement villages throughout New Zealand. You'll find Ryman retirement villages near you, each with a unique personality and a range of living and care options. Gain a lifestyle you can thrive in and connect with like-minded people in a welcoming community.
In addition to independent and assisted living, Ryman villages offer a range of care options. Depending on the village, the levels of care we provide include rest home, hospital, specialist dementia care, and respite care. In some instances we may also be able to offer rest home care in an assisted-living apartment. This option enables you to remain in your own apartment but with a little extra support.
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New Year, New Questions You Won’t Solve!
I get smaller every time I take a bath.
What am I?
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What it feels like speaking with a MAGA American:
Me: “Your total is $44.19. Cash or card?”
The customer hands me a credit card but the chip inside it has been hole-punched out.
Me: “Uh, I don’t think this will work.”
Customer: “Why not? It hasn’t expired and I have money in my account.”
Me: “Sir… the chip is gone.”
Customer: “I didn’t want the chip.”
Me: “The card won’t work without it.”
Customer: “It just means I can’t enter my PIN, but you can still swipe it.”
Me: “I don’t think it will work, sir.”
Customer: “Just swipe it.”
I swipe it to prove a point.
Me: “It’s not working, sir.”
Customer: “Then you’re doing it wrong. Swipe it again!”
I do so again with the same result.
Customer: “Maybe you should swipe it so that the magnetic strip isn’t the thing being swiped?”
Me: *Swiping it as suggested.* “Sure, why not? About as much chance of it going through without the magnetic strip as there is without the chip – oh look, it didn’t work.”
Customer: “Your machine must be broken!”