The 1 to 9 Couples Sex Scale
A lot of couples are uncomfortable talking about how to initiate and refuse sex.
It's also difficult to cope with being turned down.
The key to making “yes” and “no” feel less loaded is to have an agreed-upon ritual in your relationship for navigating sex.
Noted sex therapist Lonnie Barbach suggests that couples use a scale from 1 to 9 to indicate how amorous each of them is feeling, with 1 meaning “Not at all,” 5 meaning “I’m convince-able,” and 9 meaning “Let’s do it!”
So, if your partner initiates and you’re not in the mood, you can say, “I love you, and right now I’m a 1.” If you’re not sure, you could say, “Right now I’m a 5. Let’s kiss and see where it goes.”
The more you can hear, understand, and respect your partner’s “no” about any marital issue, the more “yes” there will be in your relationship.
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Poll: Is it rude to talk on the phone on a bus?
Buses can be a relaxing way to get home if you have a seat and enough space. However, it can be off-putting when someone is taking a phone call next to you.
Do you think it's inconsiderate for people to have lengthy phone calls on a bus? Vote in the poll, and add your comments below.
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63.6% Yes
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33.9% No
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2.5% Other - I'll share below
What's your favourite recipe for gooseberry?
Love gooseberries? Share your favourite way to enjoy them. We're looking for our readers' favourite family recipes for this delicious crop. Send yours to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, and if we use it in the magazine, you will receive a free copy of our December 2024 issue.
Lucky Lips performed by Koraunui & Shona Ukulele
Like & Share Koraunui & Shona Ukulele teams' latest video
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