A poem for the 2020 General Election
Election time is coming
And I am worried sick
What candidate and party
Should I award my tick?
I'm reasonably well-informed
And have an open mind
So here's my message to you all
Be truthful and be kind
Drop all your usual rhetoric
Forget the GDP
A genuine focus on wellbeing
Is what I want to see
Leave port moves to the experts
No barrel and no pork
Stick to the facts and evidence
Don't take me for a dork
I won't look at your hoardings
Your ads and your SM
Your bribes and empty promises
To me it's all just spam
And I will certainly not watch
A televised debate
I really have no need to feel
Uplifted by the state
Don't sell me "back to normal"
Forget the "tough on crime"
No crusher and no stardust
Just tell the truth this time
I'm tired of your platitudes
Your kicking of the cans
I want to read your policies
And understand your plans
I'm scared and eco-anxious
I need a dash of hope
And not just referenda
On managed death and dope
Don't be the handbrake all the time
Please pull out all the stops
I want a tidal wave of change
And not just a few drops
When Mother Nature kicks our bum
With fire, drought and flood
She tells us in most certain terms
To nip it in the bud
And when the great pandemic hit
Just like a lightning strike
We rediscovered care and kindness
And what life should be like
So put a cap on cows and diesel
And all that dirty s#!t
And spare me your disinformation
Since I won't fall for it
There's more that needs to disappear
Not just the plastic bag
I want that green recovery
Clean air and regen ag
Plus energy efficiency
Instead of soot and mould
Stop muddying the waters now
It's getting a bit old
And when it comes to transport
There is no "road or rail?"
There's only less emissions
If we want to prevail
Forget the aluminium smelter
We're always bound to lose
Reroute the Manapōuri power
And put it to good use
When you're talking waste and rubbish
I want to smell no rat
Bring on deposits and recycling
And make us pay for that
We are obsessed with housing
So go and take a dare
Kill off the speculation
Just tax it fair and square
Our welfare isn't doing well
And here's the reason why
It's targeted and quite the trap
Why not a UBI?
Business needs certainty
And keeping things on track
So don't campaign that if you win
You will just roll it back
Quit farming our kids like cattle
Repair the ECE
Just let our teachers do the teaching
And go for quality
Enable students overseas
To distance-learn online
So there's no need for quarantine
Remote will work just fine
Be careful with our borders
Whatever it might take
Don't burst our precious bubbles
For tourist dollars' sake
Please honour Te Tiriti
Respect that BLM
And quit the racist notion
That there is Us and Them
So this is it, my laundry list
What I think should be done
I'll go and check that I'm enrolled
Don't want to miss the fun
Just giving me the pen for free
Will certainly not do
You have to take me seriously
To make me vote for you
Some Choice News!
DOC is rolling out a new tool to help figure out what to tackle first when it comes to protecting our threatened species and the things putting them at risk.
Why does this matter? As Nikki Macdonald from The Post points out, we’re a country with around 4,400 threatened species. With limited time and funding, conservation has always meant making tough calls about what gets attention first.
For the first time, DOC has put real numbers around what it would take to do everything needed to properly safeguard our unique natural environment. The new BioInvest tool shows the scale of the challenge: 310,177 actions across 28,007 sites.
Now that we can see the full picture, it brings the big question into focus: how much do we, as Kiwis, truly value protecting nature — and what are we prepared to invest to make it happen?
We hope this brings a smile!
🧩😏 Riddle me this, Neighbours…
I am an odd number. Take away a letter and I become even. What number am I?
Do you think you know the answer?
Want to stop seeing these in your newsfeed? No worries! Simply head here and click once on the Following button.
Have you got New Zealand's best shed? Show us and win!
Once again, Resene and NZ Gardener are on the hunt for New Zealand’s best shed! Send in the photos and the stories behind your man caves, she sheds, clever upcycled spaces, potty potting sheds and colourful chicken coops. The Resene Shed of the Year 2026 winner receives $1000 Resene ColorShop voucher, a $908 large Vegepod Starter Pack and a one-year subscription to NZ Gardener. To enter, tell us in writing (no more than 500 words) why your garden shed is New Zealand’s best, and send up to five high-quality photos by email to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz. Entries close February 23, 2026.
Loading…