2033 days ago

A poem for the 2020 General Election

Oliver Neighbourly Lead from One Tree Point

Election time is coming
And I am worried sick
What candidate and party
Should I award my tick?

I'm reasonably well-informed
And have an open mind
So here's my message to you all
Be truthful and be kind

Drop all your usual rhetoric
Forget the GDP
A genuine focus on wellbeing
Is what I want to see

Leave port moves to the experts
No barrel and no pork
Stick to the facts and evidence
Don't take me for a dork

I won't look at your hoardings
Your ads and your SM
Your bribes and empty promises
To me it's all just spam

And I will certainly not watch
A televised debate
I really have no need to feel
Uplifted by the state

Don't sell me "back to normal"
Forget the "tough on crime"
No crusher and no stardust
Just tell the truth this time

I'm tired of your platitudes
Your kicking of the cans
I want to read your policies
And understand your plans

I'm scared and eco-anxious
I need a dash of hope
And not just referenda
On managed death and dope

Don't be the handbrake all the time
Please pull out all the stops
I want a tidal wave of change
And not just a few drops

When Mother Nature kicks our bum
With fire, drought and flood
She tells us in most certain terms
To nip it in the bud

And when the great pandemic hit
Just like a lightning strike
We rediscovered care and kindness
And what life should be like

So put a cap on cows and diesel
And all that dirty s#!t
And spare me your disinformation
Since I won't fall for it

There's more that needs to disappear
Not just the plastic bag
I want that green recovery
Clean air and regen ag

Plus energy efficiency
Instead of soot and mould
Stop muddying the waters now
It's getting a bit old

And when it comes to transport
There is no "road or rail?"
There's only less emissions
If we want to prevail

Forget the aluminium smelter
We're always bound to lose
Reroute the Manapōuri power
And put it to good use

When you're talking waste and rubbish
I want to smell no rat
Bring on deposits and recycling
And make us pay for that

We are obsessed with housing
So go and take a dare
Kill off the speculation
Just tax it fair and square

Our welfare isn't doing well
And here's the reason why
It's targeted and quite the trap
Why not a UBI?

Business needs certainty
And keeping things on track
So don't campaign that if you win
You will just roll it back

Quit farming our kids like cattle
Repair the ECE
Just let our teachers do the teaching
And go for quality

Enable students overseas
To distance-learn online
So there's no need for quarantine
Remote will work just fine

Be careful with our borders
Whatever it might take
Don't burst our precious bubbles
For tourist dollars' sake

Please honour Te Tiriti
Respect that BLM
And quit the racist notion
That there is Us and Them

So this is it, my laundry list
What I think should be done
I'll go and check that I'm enrolled
Don't want to miss the fun

Just giving me the pen for free
Will certainly not do
You have to take me seriously
To make me vote for you

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More messages from your neighbours
6 hours ago

Poll: If we want to reduce speeding, what do you think actually changes driver behaviour? 🛻🚨🚓

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

In the Post's article on speeding penalties, the question is asked whether speeding fines are truly about road safety, or are they just a way to boost revenue for the Crown?

What do you think? Should speeding motorists receive speeding fines or demerit points?

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If we want to reduce speeding, what do you think actually changes driver behaviour? 🛻🚨🚓
  • 32.1% The sting of a fine (Money talks!)
    32.1% Complete
  • 67.9% The threat of demerit points (Nobody wants to lose their license!)
    67.9% Complete
137 votes
S
34 minutes ago

Something we all seem to have forgotten

Stewart from Kamo

An Obituary to Common Sense printed in the London Times

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated valuable lessons like:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge)

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death;
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights,
- I Want It Now,
- Someone Else Is To Blame,
- I'm A Victim,
- Pay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing…

This is a modified version of a text that is originally attributed to Lori Borgman. However, it is more true today than it was when first written. It is not the version I remember, but it still gets the point across. Enjoy and remember.

7 days ago

Share your favourite main crop potato recipe and win a copy of our mag!

William Hansby Reporter from NZ Gardener & Get Growing

Love potatoes? We will give away free copies of the May 2026 issue to readers whose potato recipes are used in our magazine. To be in the running, make sure you email your family's favourite way to enjoy potatoes: mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, by March 1, 2026.

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