WARNING from an Old Lady....
"An older lady gets pulled over for speeding"...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there e a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Don't Mess With Old Ladies
🧩😏 Riddle me this, Neighbours…
I am an odd number. Take away a letter and I become even. What number am I?
Do you think you know the answer?
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Have you got New Zealand's best shed? Show us and win!
Once again, Resene and NZ Gardener are on the hunt for New Zealand’s best shed! Send in the photos and the stories behind your man caves, she sheds, clever upcycled spaces, potty potting sheds and colourful chicken coops. The Resene Shed of the Year 2026 winner receives $1000 Resene ColorShop voucher, a $908 large Vegepod Starter Pack and a one-year subscription to NZ Gardener. To enter, tell us in writing (no more than 500 words) why your garden shed is New Zealand’s best, and send up to five high-quality photos by email to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz. Entries close February 23, 2026.
Step by step for a great cause!
Our amazing Hillary Hikers from Edmund Hillary Village showed their support for Bowel Cancer New Zealand's Move Your Butt campaign this month!
Sporting the bright purple and orange campaign shirts, these wonderful walkers hit the Auckland waterfront and marched from Mission Bay to Kohimarama, raising awareness for bowel cancer and the importance of early detection along the way.
Click read more to read the full story.
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