WARNING from an Old Lady....
"An older lady gets pulled over for speeding"...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there e a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Don't Mess With Old Ladies
When less is more
Turn old school chairs into a stylishly understated set with this simple DIY project and Resene finishes.
Find out more how to refresh your furniture with this handy advice.
Poll: Would you want an unconventional funeral?
Funerals can cost as much as $22,000 and the planning can be stressful especially at a time when loved ones are grieving. Some New Zealanders are re-imagining funerals by making their own coffin or having a relaxed ceremony at home. Would you want a less traditional funeral? Share your thoughts below.
Type 'Not For Print' if you wish your comments to be excluded from the Conversations column of your local paper.
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83.6% Yes
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14.2% No
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2.3% Other - I'll share below!
COMMUNITY SOLAR PROJECT FUNDING AVAILABLE - 9th May 2024
Join for an informative hui on applying for solar project funding through the Cyclone Gabrielle Appeal Trust.
The funding is available to community groups, hapū, iwi and Marae across Northland, Te Tai Tokerau. With funding applications closing on 29 May 2024, this is a valuable opportunity to gain insights into the application procedure and help your community be more resilient in a natural disaster.
YOUR HOSTS:
Solartive - Ella & Mel
Cyclone Gabrielle Appeal Trust, Regional Adviser - Sapphire
DETAILS:
Date: Thursday 9th May 2024
Time: 6PM - PM
Location: Online, Google Meet
meet.google.com...
Or dial: 09 886 4110 PIN: 409 077 232#
Please confirm your attendance by clicking 'Going'.
Unable to attend the session but seeking further information?
Reach out to us via Messenger, email: office@solartive.co.nz, or phone: 0800 203 204.
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