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A police motorcycle officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light.
The driver, really aggro, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation.
The … View moreA police motorcycle officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light.
The driver, really aggro, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation.
The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.
The tirade goes on without the officer saying a dickybird.
When the officer finishes writing out the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket and then hands it to the 'violator' for his signature.
The bloke signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an a*hole."
Two months later they're in court.
The 'violator' has a bad driving record and he has a heap of points and is in danger of losing his licence, so he hired a barrister to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.
Under cross examination the barrister for the defence asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"
The police officer replies: "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."
Barrister: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"
"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."
"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"
"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."
"Aggressive and hostile?"
"Yes, Sir.”
"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for a*hole?"
“Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.”
(Now how often can one get a lawyer to convict his own client?)
We want to see your game-day photos and we have prizes to give away!
Whether you're getting dressed up in your All Blacks finest, have an impressive rugby-themed snack collection or have made a Rugby World Cup shrine in your living room, we want to see it all on Neighbourly!
To be in to… View moreWe want to see your game-day photos and we have prizes to give away!
Whether you're getting dressed up in your All Blacks finest, have an impressive rugby-themed snack collection or have made a Rugby World Cup shrine in your living room, we want to see it all on Neighbourly!
To be in to win, simply post your photo on Neighbourly along with the word: RWCfan
Go, Team!
We can all appreciate a good family cat but cats aren't known for toeing the line. New Zealand currently has no national cat management plan, allowing domestic and stray cats to roam and breed as they please. This can lead to the death of native species, not to mention … View moreWe can all appreciate a good family cat but cats aren't known for toeing the line. New Zealand currently has no national cat management plan, allowing domestic and stray cats to roam and breed as they please. This can lead to the death of native species, not to mention creating nuisance for neighbours. Do you think some laws should be in place for our feline friends?
Type 'Not For Print' if you wish your comments to be excluded from the We Say You Say column of your local paper.
Subscribe to NZ Gardener this month and receive a Free Earths Botanics Gardeners Hand Cream worth $24 thanks to Matakana Botanicals. It’s hand cream made by gardeners, for gardeners. This offer is only available until October 1, so get in quick. T&Cs apply.
Every issue of NZ Gardener is … View moreSubscribe to NZ Gardener this month and receive a Free Earths Botanics Gardeners Hand Cream worth $24 thanks to Matakana Botanicals. It’s hand cream made by gardeners, for gardeners. This offer is only available until October 1, so get in quick. T&Cs apply.
Every issue of NZ Gardener is packed with amazing New Zealand stories, plus subscribers save money every month!
Happy Gardening,
The team at NZ Gardener
Have a poppa, nan, koro, grandma or g'dad who rocks the digital world?
Nominate them to WIN a $150 Prezzy® card! Nominate them now and tell us why they deserve to WIN.
Compare broadband and power bills with NZ Compare to save big and stay connected in the digital world.
*Entries … View moreHave a poppa, nan, koro, grandma or g'dad who rocks the digital world?
Nominate them to WIN a $150 Prezzy® card! Nominate them now and tell us why they deserve to WIN.
Compare broadband and power bills with NZ Compare to save big and stay connected in the digital world.
*Entries close 2 Oct 2023.
Great selection of Fiction, Gardening and the Arts books at a cost of $2 each.
A heart-healthy diet doesn't have to mean you give up dessert entirely. Our chocolate brownie is deliciously rich, easy to make and sure to be a hit for the entire whānau. Try it for yourself today!
Hi there,
We're compiling a travel piece on great honesty boxes and roadside stalls around NZ, and would love to hear your favourites. Is there somewhere you enjoy stopping off at for fresh fruit and vegetables, free-range eggs, flowers, or something else? It would be great if you could … View moreHi there,
We're compiling a travel piece on great honesty boxes and roadside stalls around NZ, and would love to hear your favourites. Is there somewhere you enjoy stopping off at for fresh fruit and vegetables, free-range eggs, flowers, or something else? It would be great if you could share it's location and what makes it a standout. Please put 'NFP' (not for publication) in your comment if you don't want it or your name to appear in the article. You're also very welcome to email me at lorna.thornber@stuff.co.nz
Thank you for taking the time to share.
Final days to get your tickets for a chance to win this brand-new, fully furnished home in Glenbrook, Auckland. Worth over $1 million and built to perfection by Jennian Homes, this home features four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen plus walk-in pantry, two beautiful living rooms and is only a … View moreFinal days to get your tickets for a chance to win this brand-new, fully furnished home in Glenbrook, Auckland. Worth over $1 million and built to perfection by Jennian Homes, this home features four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen plus walk-in pantry, two beautiful living rooms and is only a short walk away from Glenbrook Beach with stunning views out to Āwhitu Peninsula.
Make this property your permanent residence, a holiday home, rent it or even sell it – it could be all yours! Be in to win by purchasing your tickets today – only $15 each.
Congratulations to our $100 Mitre 10 prize winners this week:
Sonia Lewis of St Albans
Hinemoa Henderson of Taupo
Ryan Dunseath of Te Atatu Peninsula
Tāmātī Kaiwai of Clouston Park
Sarah Bullard of Nelson
Winners, you can claim your prize here before the 24th of October. Enjoy!
The Rugby World Cup is underway, are you a fan?
New Zealand's All Blacks have won the RWC three times - 1987, 2011 and 2015. Do you remember these? Whether you were in the grandstand or on the couch, tell us what you remember of these historic moments...
From tomorrow, 23 September, we will be offering 50% off adoption fees on canines in all of our centres nationwide - but only until 1 October!
If you've been thinking about adopting a puppy or dog from SPCA, now is the perfect time. We have hundreds of beautiful BFFs-to-be in our care right… View moreFrom tomorrow, 23 September, we will be offering 50% off adoption fees on canines in all of our centres nationwide - but only until 1 October!
If you've been thinking about adopting a puppy or dog from SPCA, now is the perfect time. We have hundreds of beautiful BFFs-to-be in our care right now, all patiently waiting for their forever home.
Start scrolling through all the adoption profiles on our website today and find the perfect fit for your family. Get 100% of the love, for 50% of the fee!
Lighten and brighten a dull, old wooden floor with Resene Colorwood Whitewash.
Find out how to get the whitewashed look in your home with this easy project.
Dear neighbours, we're looking forward to spring and summer, and strawberries! Well, right now particularly we are looking for strawberry recipes for the magazine. Send your best ones to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz by September 17, 2023. Every published recipe wins a copy of the November issue of… View moreDear neighbours, we're looking forward to spring and summer, and strawberries! Well, right now particularly we are looking for strawberry recipes for the magazine. Send your best ones to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz by September 17, 2023. Every published recipe wins a copy of the November issue of NZ Gardener.
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