Police Remembrance Day – 29th September
A police motorcycle officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light.
The driver, really aggro, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation.
The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.
The tirade goes on without the officer saying a dickybird.
When the officer finishes writing out the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket and then hands it to the 'violator' for his signature.
The bloke signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an a*hole."
Two months later they're in court.
The 'violator' has a bad driving record and he has a heap of points and is in danger of losing his licence, so he hired a barrister to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.
Under cross examination the barrister for the defence asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"
The police officer replies: "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."
Barrister: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"
"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."
"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"
"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."
"Aggressive and hostile?"
"Yes, Sir.”
"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for a*hole?"
“Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.”
(Now how often can one get a lawyer to convict his own client?)
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What English word retains the same pronunciation, even after you take away four of its five letters?
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Poll: Is it rude to talk on the phone on a bus?
Buses can be a relaxing way to get home if you have a seat and enough space. However, it can be off-putting when someone is taking a phone call next to you.
Do you think it's inconsiderate for people to have lengthy phone calls on a bus? Vote in the poll, and add your comments below.
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64.2% Yes
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33.2% No
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2.6% Other - I'll share below
What's your favourite recipe for gooseberry?
Love gooseberries? Share your favourite way to enjoy them. We're looking for our readers' favourite family recipes for this delicious crop. Send yours to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, and if we use it in the magazine, you will receive a free copy of our December 2024 issue.