Solicitor in court cross examination ..
Seeing as we are still stuck at home and I have a captive audience I thought I might as well hit you with this :
A farmer named Paddy had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company.
In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Paddy.
'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor?
Paddy responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... '
'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'
Paddy said, 'Well, I'd just got Bessie into da trailer and I was drivin' down da road.... '
The solicitor interrupted again and said, ‘Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. '
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Paddy's answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie'.
Paddy thanked the Judge and proceeded.’ Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my fav'rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin' her down de road when this huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. By Jaysus I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moanin' and groanin'. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.
Shortly after da accident, a policeman turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin' and groanin' too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feelin'?'
'Now wot would you say?'
Poll: As a customer, what do you think about automation?
The Press investigates the growing reliance on your unpaid labour.
Automation (or the “unpaid shift”) is often described as efficient ... but it tends to benefit employers more than consumers.
We want to know: What do you think about automation?
Are you for, or against?
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9.5% For. Self-service is less frustrating and convenient.
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43.4% I want to be able to choose.
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47.1% Against. I want to deal with people.
Goldco Antique Buyers in Southland Region
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Have you got New Zealand's best shed? Show us and win!
Once again, Resene and NZ Gardener are on the hunt for New Zealand’s best shed! Send in the photos and the stories behind your man caves, she sheds, clever upcycled spaces, potty potting sheds and colourful chicken coops. The Resene Shed of the Year 2026 winner receives $1000 Resene ColorShop voucher, a $908 large Vegepod Starter Pack and a one-year subscription to NZ Gardener. To enter, tell us in writing (no more than 500 words) why your garden shed is New Zealand’s best, and send up to five high-quality photos by email to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz. Entries close February 23, 2026.
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