Life is easier when we feel loved.
You feel less anxious when you know that if you need your partner – he or she will be able to respond and to be there for you.
Some of the ways to ‘call in the love’ will not be immediately obvious to you. You might ‘go after’ your partner’s attention in a way that puts them on edge, or makes them feel criticised or not good enough. So the next time you feel the urge to tell your partner what is wrong with them – try this instead!
Take a deep breath and acknowledge your ‘hot’ emotion – is it impatience? Anger? What are you thinking about your partner in this ‘hot’ emotion and what is the ‘softer’ emotion you feel under the ‘hot’ response – do you feel left out? Taken for granted? Sad? Lonely? Disappointed?
Sit with this feeling then, turn to your partner and ask them for what you need: “I am tired and I am crabby tonight. But mostly, I just need to let you know that I want you to be around, even though I am like this. I need to feel and sense that you can stay with me, even on my bad days; because you care about me and us”. Be prepared to be surprised!
Disconnections over seemingly small things can cause us to react as if we had been deeply wounded, but our brain craves the safety of a secure partner bond. All couples fight or find they become distant from one another at times - the secret to a loving, healthy bond is knowing how to reconnect.
If you want to know more about reviving your tired relationship, or repairing a failing one, or you simply want to feel closer and more connected visit www.emotionallyfocusedtherapy.co.nz....
Poll: 🤖 What skills do you think give a CV the ultimate edge in a robot-filled workplace?
The Reserve Bank has shared some pretty blunt advice: there’s no such thing as a “safe” job anymore 🛟😑
Robots are stepping into repetitive roles in factories, plants and warehouses. AI is taking care of the admin tasks that once filled many mid-level office jobs.
We want to know: As the world evolves, what skills do you think give a CV the ultimate edge in a robot-filled workplace?
Want to read more? The Press has you covered!
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52.5% Human-centred experience and communication
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14.8% Critical thinking
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29.6% Resilience and adaptability
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3.1% Other - I will share below!
Brain Teaser of the Day 🧠✨ Can You Solve It? 🤔💬
Make a hearty dish. Take just half a minute. Add four parts of kestrel. Then just add one. What have you made?
(Trev from Silverdale kindly provided this head-scratcher ... thanks, Trev!)
Do you think you know the answer? Simply 'Like' this post and we'll post the answer in the comments below at 2pm on the day!
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Have you got New Zealand's best shed? Show us and win!
Once again, Resene and NZ Gardener are on the hunt for New Zealand’s best shed! Send in the photos and the stories behind your man caves, she sheds, clever upcycled spaces, potty potting sheds and colourful chicken coops. The Resene Shed of the Year 2026 winner receives $1000 Resene ColorShop voucher, a $908 large Vegepod Starter Pack and a one-year subscription to NZ Gardener. To enter, tell us in writing (no more than 500 words) why your garden shed is New Zealand’s best, and send up to five high-quality photos by email to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz. Entries close February 23, 2026.
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