WARNING from an Old Lady....
"An older lady gets pulled over for speeding"...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there e a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Don't Mess With Old Ladies
Poll: Do you think banning gang patches is reasonable?
With the government cracking down on gangs, it is now illegal for gang members to display their insignia in public places whether through clothing or their property.
This means arrests can be made if these patches are worn in places like restaurants, shops, on public transport or ferries, and on airplanes. Arrests were made recently at a funeral.
Do you think this ban is reasonable?
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75.7% Yes
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22.9% No
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1.4% Other - I'll share below
What's your favourite recipe for courgettes?
Kia ora neighbours. If you've got a family recipe for courgettes, we'd love to see it and maybe publish it in our magazine. Send your recipe to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, and if we use it in the mag, you will receive a free copy of our January 2025 issue.
Poll: Should all neighbours have to contribute to improvements?
An Auckland court has ruled a woman doesn’t have to contribute towards the cost of fixing a driveway she shares with 10 neighbours.
When thinking about fences, driveways or tree felling, for example, do you think all neighbours should have to pay if the improvements directly benefit them?
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81.9% Yes
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15.5% No
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2.7% Other - I'll share below
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