2117 days ago

Intimate Conversations

Ann from Relationship Wellbeing Specialist

Not really. Not entirely. Fear was taken from the reality of Merriam-Webster. Intimacy was taken from the reality of human relationships. Ultimately, when we are afraid of the possible consequences, we cannot trust our partners to listen and fully support us – especially not when it comes to our deepest feelings, hopes, or dreams. And why should we?

Our internal wiring prevents us from opening our hearts to those we fear will hurt us emotionally, from worries that they will let us down, to terror and anxiety about their potential to leave us. This is, in the language of evolutionary psychology, called an adaptive trait. It’s healthy. We need to protect ourselves!

Dr. Gottman understands this. His book on trust tells us to listen to these feelings, but also provides incredibly important methods for discerning how trust functions (or malfunctions) in our relationships. He doesn’t waste any time in getting to the core of the issue: trust begins in emotional attunement. Emotional attunement is often rooted in the ways in which we speak to each other – trust is built and broken in our everyday conversation.

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More messages from your neighbours
5 days ago

Poll: Do you think NZ should ban social media for youth?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

The Australian Prime Minister has expressed plans to ban social media use for children.

This would make it illegal for under 16-year-olds to have accounts on platforms including TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and X.
Social media platforms would be tasked with ensuring children have no access (under-age children and their parents wouldn’t be penalised for breaching the age limit)
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Do you think NZ should follow suit? Vote in our poll and share your thoughts below.

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Do you think NZ should ban social media for youth?
  • 85.6% Yes
    85.6% Complete
  • 13.2% No
    13.2% Complete
  • 1.1% Other - I'll share below
    1.1% Complete
2027 votes
4 days ago

What's your favourite recipe for courgettes?

Mei Leng Wong Reporter from NZ Gardener & Get Growing

Kia ora neighbours. If you've got a family recipe for courgettes, we'd love to see it and maybe publish it in our magazine. Send your recipe to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, and if we use it in the mag, you will receive a free copy of our January 2025 issue.

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1 day ago

Railing planters

The Team from Resene ColorShop Lower Hutt

To gain extra growing space, make and hang these easy-to-build planters on almost any wooden fence or deck railing. Use Resene FX Blackboard Paint so you can easily identify what plants are in each. Find out how to create your own with these easy step by step instructions.

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