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Empathy is the willingness to feel with your partner. To understand their inner world.
This critical skill is part of Dr. Gottman’s State of the Union Meeting and is key to reaching resolution in conflict conversations. During conflict is also when empathy is most difficult. To empathize with … View moreEmpathy is the willingness to feel with your partner. To understand their inner world.
This critical skill is part of Dr. Gottman’s State of the Union Meeting and is key to reaching resolution in conflict conversations. During conflict is also when empathy is most difficult. To empathize with your partner when their hurt feelings are a result of something you said or did without defending yourself requires skill and practice.
Couples that have mastered empathy tell me “it’s like a light switch has been turned on in their relationship” and their cycles of conflict drastically change. This is because partners stop defending their positions and instead seek to understand each other. They become a team against the conflict.
Stop trying to fix your partner
Empathy is easy when our partner is happy. It’s more difficult to empathize when our partner is hurting, angry, or sad. As Marshall Rosenberg says in Nonviolent Communication, “It may be difficult to empathize with those who are closest to us.” Since we care about them, we try to help minimize their feelings because we know that they are difficult, but sympathizing can be damaging despite positive intentions.
Empathy is putting yourself in the shoes of the person you love. Sympathy is feeling compassion, sorrow, or pity without experiencing their feelings with them. Brené Brown’s description of sympathy as trying to paint a silver-lining around pain is a very common response.
“Well, it could be worse…”
“I think you should…”
“This could turn into a positive experience for you if you just…”
The problem with this kind of response is that it invalidates the other person. I know when others have tried to “fix” my feelings, I’ve ended up resenting them because it made me feel foolish for feeling that way in the first place.
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Hi neighbours,
It's that time of the year where everyone is hanging out for a holiday. So here are Brook Sabin's top 10 ideas of things to do during the school break. Watch the video below and click here to read the full story. Happy Holidays!
New Zealand is preparing for a future free trade agreement with the United Kingdom. We’re asking for New Zealanders’ views now, so we can take them into account right from the start of the process.
Key benefits we will be looking for include removing tariffs and other barriers that restrict… View moreNew Zealand is preparing for a future free trade agreement with the United Kingdom. We’re asking for New Zealanders’ views now, so we can take them into account right from the start of the process.
Key benefits we will be looking for include removing tariffs and other barriers that restrict the flow of goods and services between our countries, and closer cooperation on progressive trade issues, including environmental protections.
To make your voice heard, just answer our quick poll question and share your thoughts.
Is there a letterbox in your neighbourhood that makes you smile? One the kids always make you drive past? Maybe you've spotted an eye-catching roadside oddity on your Summer car trip.
We want to see the craziest, quirkiest and most colourful letterboxes in New Zealand. Share photographs of … View moreIs there a letterbox in your neighbourhood that makes you smile? One the kids always make you drive past? Maybe you've spotted an eye-catching roadside oddity on your Summer car trip.
We want to see the craziest, quirkiest and most colourful letterboxes in New Zealand. Share photographs of unique letterboxes you come across these holidays and you’re in the draw to win one of four $500 prizes including a $250 Prezzy® card and $250 Resene voucher. Plus the owner of the winning letterbox wins the same prize!
Explore the entries and share a Lovely Letterbox now.
We’re looking for the nicest neighbours in town. Spread a little happiness in your ‘hood by nominating someone lovely for a Nice Neighbour Award. It could be someone who has helped make a difference in your life - or the lives of others. Someone who has been there in a time of need, has helped … View moreWe’re looking for the nicest neighbours in town. Spread a little happiness in your ‘hood by nominating someone lovely for a Nice Neighbour Award. It could be someone who has helped make a difference in your life - or the lives of others. Someone who has been there in a time of need, has helped your family, surprises and delights the kids, or who regularly volunteers their time to a local charity or sports team.
If your neighbour is picked as this week's Nice Neighbour, you’ll both receive a $25 Prezzy® card plus your special neighbour will feature in community newspapers around New Zealand as an inspiration to us all.
Let us know why your neighbour is so nice by nominating now.
Kia ora neighbours
We're working on the Hutt Line (Pomare to Silverstream) from Wednesday 26 December 2018 to the start Monday 7 January 2019.
More information: please see the latest newsletter (attached)
Queries and concerns: 04 282 1507 (24/7) JV Rail; wmup2.project@jhg.com.au
We … View moreKia ora neighbours
We're working on the Hutt Line (Pomare to Silverstream) from Wednesday 26 December 2018 to the start Monday 7 January 2019.
More information: please see the latest newsletter (attached)
Queries and concerns: 04 282 1507 (24/7) JV Rail; wmup2.project@jhg.com.au
We apologise for any disturbance and thank you for your patience while we build a better rail network for the Wellington region.
Our feline friends are in dire need of a helping paw this festive season. This wonderful local agency is in urgent need of volunteers to help with the large influx of cats taken in during this time of the year. Tasks include feeding, cleaning and tidying up, and even fostering. Once complete for … View moreOur feline friends are in dire need of a helping paw this festive season. This wonderful local agency is in urgent need of volunteers to help with the large influx of cats taken in during this time of the year. Tasks include feeding, cleaning and tidying up, and even fostering. Once complete for the day you'll be welcome to stay and enjoy their company!
If you're an animal lover or just have a kind heart please don't hesitate to get in touch. This is also a great opportunity for younger people (12 years and over) to give back to the community during the summer break while looking after Lower Hutt's cutest furriest residents.
You can reach us on 04 566 6786 or by sending a message here, we are open Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. REF 5754 & 6362.
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