If you're hurting, the world stops and I listen
One of The Four Horsemen is defensiveness, which is an attempt to ward off a perceived attack.
“It’s not my fault that we’re always late.”
When we feel accused unjustly, we fish for excuses so that our partner will back off. Unfortunately, this strategy isn't very effective.
That's because defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner. You’re saying, in effect, “The problem isn’t me, it’s you.”
Instead, take responsibility for your words or actions that upset your partner. This opens the door to repair and reconnection.
“Well, you’re right. Part of this is my fault – I need to do a better job managing my time.”
Couples who are successful adopt the motto that, "If you’re hurting, the world stops and I listen. I’m with you."
Poll: If we want to reduce speeding, what do you think actually changes driver behaviour? 🛻🚨🚓
In the Post's article on speeding penalties, the question is asked whether speeding fines are truly about road safety, or are they just a way to boost revenue for the Crown?
What do you think? Should speeding motorists receive speeding fines or demerit points?
-
35.4% The sting of a fine (Money talks!)
-
64.6% The threat of demerit points (Nobody wants to lose their license!)
Poll: Are you still heading to your local for your caffeine fix, or has the $$ changed your habits? ☕
Wellington’s identity is built on its cafe culture, but with costs climbing, that culture is under pressure. We’ve seen the headlines about recent closures, and it’s a tough pill to swallow along with a $6+ coffee.
We all want our favourite spots to stay open, but we also have to balance our own budgets ⚖️
We want to know: How are you handling the "coffee math" in 2026? Are you still heading to your local for a chat and a caffeine fix, or has the cost of living changed your habits?
Keen to read more about "coffee math"? The Post has you covered.
-
46.3% I avoid spending money on coffee
-
44.3% I still indulge at my local cafe
-
9.4% Irrelevant - coffee is not for me
Share your favourite main crop potato recipe and win a copy of our mag!
Love potatoes? We will give away free copies of the May 2026 issue to readers whose potato recipes are used in our magazine. To be in the running, make sure you email your family's favourite way to enjoy potatoes: mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, by March 1, 2026.
Loading…
