This is a tough one: how do we rebuild trust...when it has been broken?

Ann from Relationship Wellbeing Specialist

This is a tough one: how do we rebuild trust...when it has been broken? How do we forgive?

How do we take responsibility when it is we who have done (or not done) something that breaks another's trust?
The fastest way I know to begin to rebuild trust when I have disappointed someone, failed to follow through on a commitment, or otherwise lost trust is this: accountability.

 Now, there is a difference between an apology and accountability. If the trust has been lost, an apology is seldom sufficient to regain it (let alone deal with the offence the other party has experienced as a result of our mistake or misstep).

Accountability has five steps - and you can find my Five Step Forgiveness Formula here

5 Steps to Meaningful Accountability

(aka, “Don’t be sorry – be S.A.R.A.H!”)

Each letter of S.A.R.A.H. represents one of the steps of my meaningful accountability framework. If you miss even one; or if you get them out of order; you will struggle unnecessarily.

So what does S.A.R.A.H. stand for?
1) Sincerity
2) Acknowledgement of your mistake
3) Reflection upon how your mistake may have been difficult for the other person
4) Ask (for forgiveness)
5) Honor (by listening to them with genuine curiosity)

By practising this 5-step framework for meaningful accountability, you can feel confident that mistakes and missteps can be leveraged into reconciliation and transformation – because you will feel transformed by this process that empowers you to move forward together.