3010 days ago

Our need for security is a core human need

Ann from Relationship Wellbeing Specialist

Our need for security is a core human need. However, when we prioritize security at the *expense* of love and connection...our lives, our relationships increasingly revolve around what I call the "S-Cubed State": struggle, suffering, and sacrifice. It never ends well.

The good news is you can get your need for security, predictability, and familiarity MET...without sacrificing love and connection! The first step is to *notice* where you're putting security ABOVE connection - e.g. we will sometimes avoid encounters with new people or even people that we love because we want to avoid the potential discomfort of judgment, conflict, or rejection.

But if we organize our lives this way, they get *smaller* and more contracted. At best, this is a temporary coping mechanism if we are burnt out from, say, a long-standing family conflict. However, like all coping mechanisms, avoiding connection in order to feel secure can only provide temporary relief.

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More messages from your neighbours
2 days ago

Poll: Do you set New Year’s resolutions?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

🎉 2026 is almost here!

We’re curious ... how do you welcome it?
Do you set resolutions, follow special traditions, or just go with the flow?

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Do you set New Year’s resolutions?
  • 10.4% Yes! New Year, New Me
    10.4% Complete
  • 20.1% Yes - but I rarely stick to them
    20.1% Complete
  • 69.5% Nah - not for me
    69.5% Complete
676 votes
6 hours ago

🎉The Riddler wants to hear from you 🫵

The Riddler from The Neighbourly Riddler

🧩 Got a riddle that can stump your Neighbourly community? Share your brain teasers with us and watch your neighbours scratch their heads 😕🤔❓

Send us your tricky puzzles!

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15 days ago

Scam Alert: Fake information regarding December Bonuses from MSD

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

The Ministry of Social Development is reporting that fake information is circulating about new ‘December bonuses’ or ‘benefit increases’

If you get suspicious communication, please contact Netsafe.

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