3009 days ago

Our need for security is a core human need

Ann from Relationship Wellbeing Specialist

Our need for security is a core human need. However, when we prioritize security at the *expense* of love and connection...our lives, our relationships increasingly revolve around what I call the "S-Cubed State": struggle, suffering, and sacrifice. It never ends well.

The good news is you can get your need for security, predictability, and familiarity MET...without sacrificing love and connection! The first step is to *notice* where you're putting security ABOVE connection - e.g. we will sometimes avoid encounters with new people or even people that we love because we want to avoid the potential discomfort of judgment, conflict, or rejection.

But if we organize our lives this way, they get *smaller* and more contracted. At best, this is a temporary coping mechanism if we are burnt out from, say, a long-standing family conflict. However, like all coping mechanisms, avoiding connection in order to feel secure can only provide temporary relief.

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More messages from your neighbours
6 days ago

Today’s Mind-Bender is the Last of the Year! Can You Guess It Before Everyone Else? 🌟🎁🌲

The Riddler from The Neighbourly Riddler

I dance in the sky with green and gold, a spectacle few are lucky to behold; I’m best seen in the south, a celestial sight—what am I, lighting up the New Zealand night?

Do you think you know the answer? Simply 'Like' this post and we'll post the answer in the comments below at 2pm on the day!

Want to stop seeing these in your newsfeed? No worries! Simply head here and click once on the Following button.

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1 day ago

Poll: Do you set New Year’s resolutions?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

🎉 2026 is almost here!

We’re curious ... how do you welcome it?
Do you set resolutions, follow special traditions, or just go with the flow?

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Do you set New Year’s resolutions?
  • 9.8% Yes! New Year, New Me
    9.8% Complete
  • 21.8% Yes - but I rarely stick to them
    21.8% Complete
  • 68.4% Nah - not for me
    68.4% Complete
519 votes
S
21 hours ago

Washing soda

Sharon from Avalon

I have a 20kg bag of washing soda. Bought it sometime ago. I don't have a need for it. Anyone interested please message me.